Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Some people believe that primary schools are very important because the focus on the formal learning.So i am agreed that because you are preparing for higher secondary education in addition primary schools are preparing for higher education he learn basics things on study.primary education develop ideas for learning although primary teacher are teach new thing for crucial in the life or he learn basic manner in the school and next education in life for important. instructor are learning in sitting in the classroom and to aware for books.teacher are teach in the classroom to basics things in the book and teach to big dreams in the futures life.Primary schools teachers are many things to teach us basic ethics and who to teath for parents in addition older mans to take in slam and more things to learn in classroom so its very banefichal in life. For example my teacher to teach dreams and how to become succesful man in the world so it are more thing so today i remamber all thing to learn my teacher in the school.In my opinion teacher are more things to learn in school such as basic ethics, manner and ideas of books so today i had all things of remamer in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You express a general view that formal learning is valuable, mentioning preparation for later education, basic knowledge, ethics and manners. The personal example about a teacher encouraging you to dream also gives some relevant support. However, the response does not clearly answer both questions: it does not explain how much you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning, and it gives almost no account of why play should be included or how important it is. Several points repeat the value of learning rather than developing distinct reasons. The response is also 42 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to address the task fully. State your position directly, then develop separate points about learning and classroom play with examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a recognisable focus on primary education, and a few linking expressions—such as “in addition,” “although” and “for example”—show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear introduction, body structure or conclusion. Ideas move from higher education to classroom teaching, ethics and a personal memory without a clear progression, and several points are repeated. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the sentence beginning “primary education develop ideas for learning although…”. Organise the essay into paragraphs, with one main idea in each, and use clear topic sentences and references. This would make the relationship between your reasons and your position easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “higher secondary education,” “basic ethics” and “classroom.” These terms help communicate your general interest in what children learn at school. However, the range is narrow and many words or phrases are repeated, especially “learn,” “teacher,” “basic” and “things.” Several choices are unclear or unnatural, such as “big dreams in the futures life” and “older mans to take in slam,” which make parts of the message difficult to interpret. Spelling errors such as “banefichal,” “succesful” and “remamber” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “because,” “although” and “in addition,” and some basic sentence meanings can be understood. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed, and control of verb forms and agreement is weak. Examples include “So i am agreed that,” “primary education develop ideas” and “primary teacher are teach.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, making several sentences hard to follow. Most of the response relies on simple patterns, with limited accurate variety. Practise forming complete subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses carefully. Check agreement, verb forms and punctuation when editing each sentence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.