Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent year, some people believe that elementary school in junior level significant focus at formal learning, i agree that primary school should be neutral in both element like studies, as well as physical activity. In addition, it is crucial for children to play because its help in their brainstorming and learning become also part of child play.

On the one hand, Schools at primary level should be concentrated to encourging child personality rather than too rivet at child codified learning its specified their brain to be one thing which is not healthy for the child. Moreover, Play will become the part of their daily activity. its energise their brain and health. i argue that formal learning is a part of learning not as whole . schools also provide kids some free time for their own activity time in which they have autonomy to create anything. it helps their brain to get activate to thinking.

On the other hand, children play significant impact on their brain, Research shows the children who learn by activity or playing have better grades, to those who only focus on learning .

In my opinion, Schools should focuses on both playing and learning in balance ways because playing help in their physical health as well as mental health while learning to enhance their knowledge which helpful in their future .

In conclusion, School play crucial role in children growth, development focuses at one thing made child overburden and over shadow his/her personality child should be free in certain activity which help to ease child mind and also help its brain storming physical activity also contributes its health .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you state that schools should balance formal learning with physical activity, and explain that play supports children’s mental and physical development. The position is clear in the introduction and conclusion. Relevant points include the value of free time and the claim that activity-based learning can improve grades. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. For example, the research claim is not supported with a specific example or explanation, and the discussion of formal learning being “one thing” remains unclear. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how play complements classroom learning and give a concrete example of an activity that develops a skill or subject knowledge.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has an overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, an opinion paragraph and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the main points, and the conclusion returns to the central idea of balance. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from personality to formal learning, free time and thinking without clearly showing how each point connects. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “its” and “it” do not always make the intended subject clear. Group related ideas more tightly, use clearer topic sentences, and make the links between claims and explanations explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “autonomy,” “personality,” and “physical health,” and you communicate the general argument. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unclear, as in “focus at formal learning,” “rivet at child codified learning,” and “help in their brainstorming.” Some expressions appear to be direct translations and make the reader work to infer your meaning. Spelling and word-form errors, including “encourging” and “energise” used with an unclear subject, also affect control. Build a reliable set of natural phrases for discussing education and child development, and check whether each verb and noun combination sounds idiomatic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “while.” This gives the response some structural variety, but control is inconsistent. Examples include “In recent year,” “Schools should focuses,” and “playing help,” where number or verb forms do not agree. Several sentences also lack clear boundaries or complete grammatical structure, particularly the final sentence, which joins multiple ideas without effective punctuation. Capitalisation of “i” and sentence openings is inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles and plural forms, and divide long sentences into complete units; this will make your ideas easier to understand while preserving your attempts at complexity.

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