Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is thought by some people that primary schools focus largely on academic learning than additional things such as playing. I agree with this viewpoint to a certain extent.

The foremost responsibility of an educational institute is to offer proper knowledge to the students. There are many reasons why academics, particularly primary schools focus much more on formal education. One major reason is to create a sustainable foundation of knowledge in children's mind from an early age. This is because getting familier with academic prospects and exercising them from the initial stages of their lives will help them develop the habit of studying regulary. In addition, midterms and yearly exams are significant to keep them on track. This initiatives bound them into a routine and encourages them to pursue good academic results.

Although formal education benefits the students with their academic results, I believe there should have some sources of entertainment available in primary schools. Because kids often get exhausted with their regular study schedules and think education as a barden to them. Due to this reason many students sometimes refuse to go to their schools. This situation can be turned down by adding some events apart from their regular classes. For example, occasional sport events can be held for them where they will get a chance to take part in different activities that will help them physically and will also refresh their minds. Some playful classroom activities can also be introduced where children can learn socialisation with other kids and broaden their outer knowledge by implementing deifferent skills while doing those tasks.

In conclution, it is true that school authorities are more serious with formal learning at the primary levels but from my perspective enjoyable activities such as playing should also be included on their regular routine. Therefore, it will be more beneficial to the students in near future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree to a certain extent, supporting formal learning while arguing that play should also be included. You address both questions and give relevant reasons, such as building study habits and using sports or classroom activities to refresh children and develop social skills. These examples make the response purposeful. However, the discussion of why schools prioritise formal learning is more developed than the explanation of how play should be integrated into classroom learning; sports events, for instance, are not necessarily classroom activities. The conclusion restates your view but adds little synthesis. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how play can support learning during lessons and develop each main point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides of your argument, and a conclusion. The progression from the value of academic foundations to the benefits of enjoyable activities is easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “In addition,” “Although,” and “For example” help signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or unclear: “This initiatives” does not clearly refer back to the exams, and “Due to this reason” repeats the causal link rather than moving the argument forward. The second body paragraph also combines several benefits without clearly separating them. Use more precise referencing and organise each paragraph around one main claim, followed by explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sustainable foundation,” “academic results,” “regular study schedules,” and “socialisation.” These choices help communicate your ideas, and some less common expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spelling errors reduce naturalness: “familier,” “regulary,” “a barden,” “deifferent,” and “turned down” do not fit the intended meanings. Phrases such as “additional things” and “outer knowledge” are also vague or unnatural. These errors generally do not prevent understanding, but they limit the precision and control expected at a higher level. Focus on accurate collocations and proofread spelling, especially in key phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional explanation (“This is because…”) and a concession introduced by “Although.” Most ideas remain understandable, and errors rarely obstruct the message. Some grammatical problems are nevertheless noticeable. For example, “There are many reasons why academics, particularly primary schools focus…” has an unclear structure, while “I believe there should have some sources” needs a different verb construction. In “This initiatives bound them,” the demonstrative and verb do not agree with the plural noun. There are also issues with articles and sentence boundaries, such as beginning “Because kids…” as a fragment. Review agreement, verb patterns, and how dependent clauses connect to complete sentences.

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