Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people hold the view that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. To large extent i agree with this opinion, of course formal learning is very important part of educating primary students it is also beneficial for children to play as well as learn. in early age playing interests children more than learning formally combing playing along with formal education in classroom will appeal more to children and it will make more children to engage with eduaction and learning. i myself for example used to get bored in class when i was little as there was no playing in the classroom and our school focused completely on formal learning and i used to look forward break so that we can play and thoughts and desire to play used to distract me form what teachers were teachiing me. Also in our time i think primary schools used to focus only on formal learning where as nowadays school system are acknowledging that incorporating playing in classes is important to teach children and more and more primary school are focusing on this aspect and including more playing activities along with formal learning. In my opinion this change in primary schools is very good and it will lead to more children engaging in learning in thier classroom. Children in their early age dont have as much interest in learning as they have in playing, they want to have fun and do activities they like that's why incorporating playing in primary classroom along with formal learning will be beneficial to the eduation of children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear position, agreeing to a large extent, and address both formal learning and the value of play. Your personal example about becoming bored and distracted when there was no classroom play is relevant, and you also explain that play can increase children’s engagement. However, these points are repeated rather than fully developed, and the benefits of play are asserted more than explained with specific examples. The response is also 242 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 19 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop one or two reasons further—for example, explain how a learning game could teach a particular skill—and make the balance between formal instruction and play more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable line of argument: you state your view, give a personal example, and conclude that combining play with learning is beneficial. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader has little help distinguishing the main argument, supporting example, and conclusion. Several ideas run together, especially the opening, where the importance of formal learning and the benefits of play are joined without clear sentence boundaries. Linking expressions such as “Also” and “In my opinion” provide some connection, but the progression is repetitive and the final point largely restates earlier claims. Use separate paragraphs and organise each around one main point, with clear links between the reason, example, and conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “incorporating playing,” “engage,” and “classroom.” The personal example also helps make the discussion understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “playing,” “formal learning,” and “children.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “appeal more to children,” “thoughts and desire to play,” and “school system are acknowledging.” Spelling errors—including “eduaction,” “thier,” and “teachiing”—also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise terms for classroom activities and learning outcomes, and check spelling and collocations during revision so your meaning is expressed more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, including the explanation that play can interest children and encourage engagement. This shows some willingness to use more than simple sentence patterns. However, many sentences are run-ons or lack clear punctuation, and complex attempts are often difficult to follow. For example, the opening combines several clauses without appropriate sentence boundaries, while “primary school are focusing” has a subject–verb agreement error. There are also recurring problems with capitalisation, articles, and sentence starts, such as “i” and “in early age.” Use shorter, complete sentences where needed, then practise joining clauses with accurate conjunctions and punctuation. Careful proofreading for agreement and articles would improve control.

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