Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a common belief that in children institutes they majorly aim too much on formal leature learning. However, playing games is also important in primary school. I believe that both formal learning and playing games are equally curical for the growth of primary schools childrens

Formal learning: It is true that in any children institutions they mainly focus on formal learning because they believe education is only way of success in their life. They never consider physical activity as a important part of their life. For example in a school their is a teacher who teach english and her syllabus is complete and the students propose a proposal of playing game in the playground in response to it teacher would sudden decline his idea and give him more work and say focus on your study.

Importance of play in a children life, we all know that playing game would help an individual to grow physically and mentally. Because when we play we used our both physical strength and brain power. Moreover, doing physical activity would help to produce more hormones and enzymes in our body which would directly help in the growth of an individual. Let assume a case where a student study for 3 hour continue and then go out for play and another student who just do study and don't go out for play, in long run we can see a major difference in both the students towards their mental health as well as physical health.

In conculsion, both formal learning and playing games are important and when both the things goes hand in hand it will end as a great result for an individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider formal learning and play equally important, and you address both the focus on academic study and the value of play. The example of a teacher refusing a request to play illustrates your concern about schools prioritising lessons, while the comparison between children who do and do not play supports your view about physical and mental development. However, the first body paragraph mainly describes a possible situation rather than explaining how widespread excessive formal learning is or why it occurs. The benefits of play are also asserted more than fully explained. To strengthen the response, develop each reason with a clearer explanation and a specific, realistic example, and make the extent of your agreement explicit in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and play, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “Moreover” and “In conclusion” to connect points. Some cohesion is mechanical, however, and the headings “Formal learning” and “Importance of play in a children life” make the body read more like notes than developed essay paragraphs. References such as “it” and “both the things” are not always precise, and the example in the first body paragraph is difficult to follow because several actions are packed into one sentence. Use topic sentences and clearer links between claims, explanations, and examples to make progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “physical activity,” “mental health,” and “growth.” These choices help communicate the central ideas, but the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the writing less natural and occasionally unclear. For example, “children institutes” and “formal leature learning” do not express the intended meaning clearly, while “propose a proposal” is repetitive and “curical” is misspelled. Phrases such as “produce more hormones and enzymes” also sound overly specific without supporting explanation. Build a more accurate set of education-related expressions and check spelling and collocations; choosing familiar, precise wording is more effective than attempting an unsuitable phrase.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “Let assume a case where…” and a sentence explaining how activity may affect development. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. Examples include “in any children institutions they mainly focus,” “a teacher who teach,” and “when both the things goes hand in hand.” The long sentence about the teacher and the student’s request also needs clearer punctuation and clause boundaries. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and articles.

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