Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believe that formal learning is highly concerned in primay schools. I do not totally agree with this statement because I have seen this type of learning in most of public educational institutions. Whille, private sector have a lot of activity centres along with studies to learn even better. And I strongly believe that there should be some play or activity area which helps young learners to seek an even better understanding of different concepts.But at some points, formal learning is best to set up some rules for higher schools.

Mostly, in government schools, they mainly focus on learning more formally; either they do not have many facilities to due to the low budget provided by the state, or their teachers are not willing to make any extra effort to play and teach while learning. In contrast to this, private setups are more developed and equipped with modern learning play methods, and children love to play and learn simultaneously. However, private primary schools have such high fees that a normal citizen or resident can not afford them. Moreover, the government should have these types of facilities so everyone can learn and play at the same time.

At a younger age, play is an important part of learning for two reasons; firstly, It brings out the inner creativity of each child individually. For instance, when a young student plays, he comes up with different ideas for a single problem. Students start learning with joy as play relaxes and refreshes their minds. But besides play, formal learning is also vital to excel and to secure good grades in exams. For example, if a student is very creative and loves to play but does not attend any science or history classes and finally gets poor grades, then play should be avoided or limited to make him realize the importance of studies as well.

To conclude, all primary schools should have play as an important part of their routine along with learning. But do not make it as a stubborn habit that will affect their future by not getting exemplary achievements in practical life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses both questions and gives a clear overall view: you support combining play with formal learning, while recognising that academic study matters. The examples about creativity and children enjoying learning are relevant, and the contrast between government and private schools adds context. However, some points are less fully developed than others. The claim that formal learning is needed to “set up some rules for higher schools” is unclear, and the example of a creative student receiving poor grades leads to limiting play without explaining how schools should balance the two. Develop this balance more directly—for example, explain how structured play can reinforce science or history learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally move from school provision to the educational value of play. Linking phrases such as “In contrast,” “Moreover” and “For instance” help signal relationships. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or unclear: “Whille” begins an incomplete contrast, and “But at some points” introduces an idea that does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence. The final paragraph also shifts from supporting play to warning against it without clearly reconciling these positions. Use complete, connected sentences and make each paragraph’s main point explicit, then link examples back to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “facilities,” “creativity,” “simultaneously” and “exemplary achievements.” These choices make the subject clear, and some phrases show an attempt to express nuanced ideas. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “formal learning is highly concerned,” “activity centres along with studies” and “stubborn habit.” Spelling slips such as “primay” and “Whille” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural academic collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe schools as “placing strong emphasis on formal instruction,” and refer to play as a “regular part of the school routine,” rather than a habit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if a student is very creative” and a sentence explaining that play “relaxes and refreshes their minds.” Most of the meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors, however, affect clarity and control. “Whille, private sector have” is not a complete, correctly formed contrast, while “there should be some play or activity area which helps” has awkward agreement and sentence construction. The final sentence, “But do not make it as a stubborn habit,” lacks a clear subject and has an unclear reference. Practise forming complete clauses, maintaining consistent subjects, and punctuating sentence openings and contrasts accurately.

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