Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays,some individuals believe that schools focous too much on formal learning.In my perspective it is very important for childeren to focus at formal learning.Therefore,they should also particiapate in sports or others sports activities.

Firstly,it is very crusial for children to do study.Some schools focus on formal learning also. Therefore,they should focous on sports and encourage children to do activities.there are so many benifits of being active.If the student does not particiapate in any activity such as cricket,hockey,football as well as swimming.This behavior make him less active and feel laziness.For instance,a children who is active in sports or other activity.They may feel more active and confident because he is doing exercise daily and play somthing daily.Sports can make motivated and energatic.Moreover,many students learn many thing to sports.For example, sports teach student a good team work and time management.Therefore,schools should focous on study and encourage children to focous on sports.

secondly,formal learning is an important part of children life.They learn many thing from formal study.But it is very important for children being active.It has so many benifits. For example,children can improve their physical health as well as mental health. Activity make children more busy.Children can focous on their study with concentrate.Activity make student more active in classroom.Furthermore, activity protect to other activity like, using too much smartphone or computer.

In conclusion,some primary schools to much on formal study and do not focous on physical activites.In my opinion,formal learning and physical activity both are important.Therefore,schools and government should give awareness about physical activites.They should not focous only on formal study because activity has so many benifit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a relevant position: formal learning matters, but children should also take part in physical activities. You address both questions by describing benefits such as improved health, confidence, teamwork and time management. However, the extent of your agreement is not fully clear: the opening says children should focus on formal learning, while the conclusion argues schools should not focus only on it. The discussion also repeats general claims, such as activity making children “more active,” without explaining in detail how classroom play should balance with academic lessons. Develop one or two examples further and state clearly whether you agree that schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas are generally grouped by topic. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from studying to sports, then to confidence and teamwork, with several ideas repeated. Connect each example explicitly to the main point, and use clearer topic sentences. Some transitions are mechanical or confusing, particularly “Therefore” where the relationship between the sentences is not clear. More precise referencing and a more deliberate sequence—from the value of formal learning to the role of play—would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical health,” “team work” and “time management,” so the main ideas can usually be understood. However, vocabulary is repetitive, especially “activity,” “focus” and “important,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate. For example, “Activity make children more busy” and “Sports can make motivated and energatic” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “focous,” “benifits” and “childeren” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and word forms; this will help you explain benefits and classroom practices more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors, but sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts to combine ideas are often faulty. Errors in agreement and sentence formation appear in examples such as “This behavior make him less active” and “Activity make children more busy.” There are also incomplete or poorly joined sentences, including “If the student does not participate …” followed by a full stop before the consequence, and “For instance, a children who is active … They may feel…”. Articles, plurals and punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise forming complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make your meaning easier to follow.

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