Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Children are the nation builders.Some individuals believe that primary institutions too much focus on formal learning.I some extend agree with this statement because other activities are also important for learners like participate in recreational activities.

To commence with,there are some reasons why formal learning necessary in schools .Initially,no doubt,it is the base of the children to learn formal language because learners can easily enhance their knowlegde about different topics such as , education,politics,sports and many more.As a result, it would put good impact on children mind also in future they can get more job opportunities in different fields.

To commence with,other learning is also important like to play sports because it would help them to stay mentally and physically fit. Moreover,They can release stress from their mind like if they are tired during their acdemic studies then through playing games children can stay calm and easily concentrate on their school work.Hence,it boost up their confidence level.Besides this,nowadays,competition has inclined as compared to bygone era so they can play

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a relevant, partly clear position: “I some extend agree” indicates that you agree formal learning should be balanced with other activities. You also address both learning and play, mentioning knowledge and future job opportunities alongside the mental and physical benefits of sports. However, the response only partially develops the task. The first body paragraph explains the value of formal learning, but the second ends abruptly at “so they can play,” leaving the point unfinished. There is no specific example, and the extent of your agreement is not explained in enough detail. The response is also below the required minimum length, which limits how fully you can support your ideas. Develop both sides and complete your argument with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Your response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to reasons for formal learning and then to the value of play. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Moreover,” and “Hence” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is limited: both body paragraphs begin with “To commence with,” and the final paragraph stops mid-idea, so the argument does not reach a conclusion. Some links are mechanical or do not clearly show the relationship between points, while punctuation spacing makes the flow harder to follow. Use distinct topic sentences, connect each explanation clearly to the main position, and add a concluding paragraph that summarises your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “recreational activities,” “mentally and physically fit,” and “concentrate.” These choices make your main ideas understandable and show some attempt to use less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “nation builders,” “good impact,” “release stress from their mind,” and “competition has inclined.” Spelling errors, including “knowlegde” and “acdemic,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the relationship between classroom learning, play, wellbeing, and academic progress.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, for example the sentence beginning “Moreover” links tiredness, playing games, and concentration. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include “primary institutions too much focus,” where the verb structure is incomplete, and “I some extend agree,” where the phrase is not grammatically formed. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “it boost up their confidence level.” Missing spaces after commas and inconsistent capitalisation further affect punctuation. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for agreement and punctuation.

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