Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The issue of formal learning in schools has become great debate recently. Section of individuals discussion that elementary schools are too much concentrate on formal education. While I believe a certain amount of formal education is necessary, schools today place an excessive focus on it, however, maintaining a healthy balance of play within the classroom remains highly important for young learners. I will discuss on these arguments in upcoming paragraph.

To commence with first point, formal education plays important role in students lives. Yet, too much concentrate on that education is not good for learners' health. The educators learn that, they not puts more pessure on students as well as they cannot study properly.

Turning to the next point, playing is also crucial for pupils. If they always stay buried in their studies. So, they are too much stressed, its also negative impact on their health.

To conculde, although both arguments have advantages. But I still believe that, formal studies and play outdoor both are vital for pupils. Because if they do not concentrate on studies, they cannot achieve better marks in studies on the other side, playing outside is also important, if they playing so, they are mentally and physically healthy always.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a relevant, broadly balanced response: you acknowledge that formal learning matters while arguing that schools place too much emphasis on it, and you state that play is important. However, the task is addressed only partially because neither view is explained in enough detail, and the importance of classroom play is not clearly distinguished from playing outdoors. For example, “they are too much stressed” gives a general consequence but no specific explanation or example. Your conclusion also says both are vital without clearly restating the extent to which you agree with the opinion. The response is 47 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop reasons and examples. Add a clear position, explain each main reason, and include a relevant example from a primary classroom.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “To commence” and “Turning to the next point,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the broad stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: the first body paragraph introduces the value of formal education, then shifts to its possible harm without explaining the relationship between these points. Some linking is also inaccurate or mechanical, as in “If they always stay buried in their studies. So, they are too much stressed,” where the sentence break interrupts the cause-and-effect link. The conclusion uses “although” and “but” together, making the relationship between ideas unclear. Develop each paragraph around one main point and connect its explanation and example with clear, accurate transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “learners,” “pupils,” “stressed,” and “mentally and physically healthy.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors make parts of the response awkward to read. Examples include “great debate,” “too much concentrate,” “conculde,” and “pessure.” Phrases such as “stay buried in their studies” show an attempt to use more expressive language, but the wording is not developed into a precise explanation. Build a wider set of accurate terms for classroom learning and play, and check spelling and common word partnerships. For instance, use “excessive emphasis on formal instruction” rather than “too much concentrate on formal education.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “While I believe a certain amount of formal education is necessary” and a conditional beginning “If they always stay buried in their studies.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “Section of individuals discussion,” “they not puts more pressure,” and “if they playing so.” The fragment “If they always stay buried in their studies” is followed by another fragment, “So, they are too much stressed,” rather than a correctly joined sentence. Practise complete sentences and accurate subject–verb patterns, and review articles and punctuation. For example: “If pupils spend all day studying, they may become stressed.”

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