Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals believe that primary schools exccesive emphasis on formal education, while children should also be given opportunities to develop practised skills and creativity. i strongly agree with this opinion because i think student personal development is jus as important as studying.

Schools plays a crucial role to make a children's mind sharp and strong with organise a compition such as quizz, games like a cricket, volleyball. Teachers help to learn them a subjects for instance mathematics, science, biology which is an important for gain their knowledge on the subjects and help them to remember a essential things and improve their communication skill, logical thinking which is also prepare them for an examination. In addition, schools structured environment teaches them discipline and responsibility which is esential for their future and carrers.

On the other hand, foccusing too heavily academic subjects can limit children's opportunities to explore their interest and knoeledge. Primary school students are naturally curios and learn effectively through practical activity. Activities such as, a drawing, playing a games. For example, if student take a part in a compition, they can learn how to cooperate with other, how to communicate, and how to face a difficulties and how to win. Moreover, they can learn lesson from the failure and work on their mistakes.

In conclusion, I believe schools should maintain a balance between academic learning and practical learning. Because both are responsible for students carrer. While formal learning is important for building a strong academic foundation, i be

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear view in the opening, saying you “strongly agree,” and your examples of quizzes, sports and drawing are relevant to the question. You also explain how activities can build cooperation and communication, while formal study supports knowledge and discipline. However, the response addresses the two parts unevenly: the importance of play is discussed more fully than whether schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning. Several points are asserted rather than explained, and the conclusion is cut off after “i be,” so your final position is not fully reinforced. The response is also one word below the required minimum. Develop the comparison between academic instruction and play, and complete the conclusion with a clear final reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting academic learning and play, and a conclusion. “On the other hand” signals a contrast, and “In conclusion” marks the ending. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long sentences, such as the list of subjects followed by claims about memory, communication and examinations. Some links are mechanical or unclear, and the conclusion begins with a fragment (“Because both are responsible for students carrer”) before ending abruptly. Use one main point per sentence, connect each example explicitly to your argument, and ensure the final paragraph is complete. This would make the overall organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “academic subjects,” “practical activity,” “discipline,” and “responsibility.” These choices help communicate the contrast between classroom study and broader development. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling and word-form errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, for example “exccesive emphasis,” “practised skills,” “curios,” and “carrer.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “make a children's mind sharp” and “learn lesson from the failure.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms such as “learn” and “important” with precise alternatives would also help express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “while” and a conditional example beginning “if student take a part.” However, many sentences contain errors in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction, which sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For instance, “Schools plays” has subject–verb disagreement, while “Teachers help to learn them a subjects” has an unclear structure and incorrect article use. The final sentence is incomplete, and “Because both are responsible…” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and review articles and singular/plural forms.

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