Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Introduction

Some people argue that primary school focus too much on formal learning.

Important to play children

Yes, it is very important to play a children in primary school because, they studies in class room very well and focus on our study. Played in break time in school children enjoying the time and stay active and feel relex for studies. Teachers want to give the time in primary schools to classroom to childrens because they takes differents activities and the teachers Judge their activities that what would they do in our future. So, The teacher want to work hard on their interest that they want. Its benefit is that they work hard on actively and they take skills easily that needs in their futures. Lf, The teachers not do this , the children in primary school not hard work on subjects and they failed in future in these opposit direction. A big problem is that our next generation cannot do a achieve a succfull for our life, our futers, and not proud our countary, teachers shoul make a policies for primary school childrens.

Opinions

My opinion is that is very important do you think it is for childrens to play as well as learn and take skills and make bright futures for our life, make school repotations and proud our countary.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a relevant view that children should both play and learn, and you mention possible benefits such as staying active and developing skills. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not clearly explain how much you agree that schools focus too heavily on formal learning, and the reasons are often difficult to follow or insufficiently supported. The claim that teachers should judge children’s activities and prepare them for the future is not explained with a clear example. The response also contains 221 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250. To develop your answer, state your position directly, discuss both formal learning and play, and support each main point with a specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an introduction, a main section about play, and a concluding opinion, so there is an attempt to organise the answer. However, ideas are not arranged coherently enough to show a clear progression. The heading “Important to play children” does not clearly signal the paragraph’s purpose, and the final “Opinions” section largely repeats the view rather than drawing together the argument. Connections between ideas are often unclear—for example, the move from children enjoying break time to teachers judging activities and then to national pride. Use a conventional paragraph structure, with one central point in each paragraph, and connect each reason to the question using clear transitions and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “activities,” “skills,” and “future,” which helps communicate the general topic. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “play a children,” “focus on our study,” and “make school repotations” are not natural in this context; spelling errors such as “relex,” “succfull,” and “countary” also reduce clarity. Aim to learn vocabulary in accurate phrases, rather than translating word by word. For example, you could describe children as “taking part in play-based activities” and say these activities “develop social and practical skills.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to express reasons and consequences, including the sentence beginning “If the teachers not do this,” but sentence structures are very limited and errors occur frequently. Subject–verb agreement is often inaccurate (“they studies,” “they takes”), and articles, plurals, and sentence patterns are also problematic (“to play a children,” “in primary school”). Several long sentences join multiple ideas without clear grammatical control, making relationships between them hard to follow. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, particularly after commas and at the start of sentences. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “if,” and “so.”

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