Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

EDUCATION PLAYS A SIGNIFICANT ROLE IN EVERY SOCIETY. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS ARE FOCUED ON FORMAL EDUCATION. BESIDES LEARNING, PLAYING AND FUN ARE IMPORTANT FOR STUDENTS AS WELL, I THINK.

NOWADAYS, MOST OF THE JUNIOR SCHOOLS ONLY FOCUS ON BOOKS LEARNING AND STRICT RULES. TO COMPETE WITH THIS FAST-PACED WORLD, THEY FORCE KIDS TO LEARN A LOT OF SUBJECTS AT ONCE, WHICH IS SOMETIMES OVERWHELMING FOR THOSE KIDS. FOR EXAMPLE, IN MANY COUNTRIES, STUDENTS' SCHOOL BAGS ARE HEAVIER THAN THEIR OWN WEIGHT, AND THEY LEARN EIGHT TO TEN SUBJECTS PER YEAR. LEARNING SHOULD BE FUN FOR THOSE LITTLE KIDS. IF THEY LEARN THROUGH FUN AND PLAY, IT WILL BE MORE EFFECTIVE, AND THEY WILL FEEL ENCOURAGED TO GO TO SCHOOL, WHICH REDUCES THE DROPOUT RATE FROM SCHOOLS. FOR INSTANCE, MANY DEVELOPED COUNTRIES HAVE DESIGNED THEIR ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS WITH MANY TYPES OF GAMES AND ENTERTAINMENT SO THAT KIDS CAN LEARN THROUGH GAMES, AND IT'S EFFECTIVE SO FAR.

HOWEVER, FORMAL EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT FOR STUDENTS' FUTURE GROWTH. IN EARLY YEARS OF LIFE, KIDS' BRAINS ARE LIKE CLAY; YOU CAN SHAPE THEM EASILY. THAT IS WHY MANY SCHOOLS TRY TO TEACH THEM IMPORTANT THINGS THAT THEY CAN USE IN LATER LIFE. MOREOVER, IF THEY LEARN ABOUT RULES AND REGULATIONS ALONG WITH LESSONS, IN THE FUTURE, THERE IS A HIGH CHANCE OF THEIR SUCCESS.

IN CONCLUSION, FOR STUDENTS' BETTER FUTURE, SCHOOLS DESIGNED THEIR PROGRAMS, BUT THIS EXTREME LESSON MARATHON OVERWHELMED STUDENTS AND LED THEM TO MANY PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS. EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT, BUT I BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE DESIGNED AS STUDENT-FRIENDLY SO THAT IT NEVER FEELS MONOTONOUS.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support making primary education more student-friendly and argue that play should accompany formal learning. You address both parts of the question, explaining that play can make learning more effective and encourage attendance, while formal education prepares children for later life. The examples of heavy school bags and learning through games help make the discussion relevant. However, the case for formal learning is less fully developed: the claim that learning rules gives children a high chance of success is asserted rather than explained. Some claims, such as the link between play and lower dropout rates, would also benefit from a clearer explanation or a more specific example. More balanced development would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the benefits of play and formal education, and a conclusion. The progression from the pressure of book-based learning to the value of games is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However” and “In conclusion” make the main shifts clear. This organisation is effective, though some connections between claims are abrupt: the discussion moves from heavy bags to dropout rates without fully showing the link. Repeated use of “kids” and “students” also makes references less varied, while the final paragraph introduces psychological problems without developing them earlier. Make these links explicit and ensure the conclusion synthesises the main reasons already discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling, including “overwhelming,” “encouraged,” “dropout rate,” and “monotonous.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and attempts at more expressive language, such as “lesson marathon,” show willingness to use less common phrasing. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “books learning,” “junior schools,” and “designed their programs” when referring to schools generally. “Focused” is also misspelled as “focued.” Repeated use of “kids” and “important” limits precision and variety. Aim for more natural education-related collocations and check spelling; this would make the argument sound more fluent and precise without changing its meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses (“which is sometimes overwhelming”) and conditional structures (“If they learn through fun and play, it will be more effective”). Most sentences remain understandable, and punctuation generally helps separate ideas. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In “schools designed their programs,” the past-tense verb does not fit the general point; “schools design their programs” would be more appropriate. The sentence beginning “Moreover, if they learn…” has an unclear structure, particularly around “in the future” and “there is a high chance of their success.” There are also inconsistent shifts between general statements and direct address, as in “kids’ brains…; you can shape them.” Continue practising accurate tense choices and clearer clause construction while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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