Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many people think that primary schools are more focused towards formal learning, and ignore other activities. In my opinion, both the learning as well as playing is necessary for young children as it creates a balance between the two.

Kids of certain age require additional activities in order to improve their brain development. Taking part in activities like puzzle-solving, chess playing, painting and so-on enhances the cognitive development of their minds. Moreover, participating in outdoor activities, such as running, jumping etc are beneficial for their physical health too, for it requires movement of body and spending energy. Overall, playing improves both the mental health and physical health of young ones.

However, learning is also as essential as playing because children require knowledge of basic things. Teaching young pupils about alphabets, numbers and colours is a basic requirement, for it trains their mind to grasp new knowledge and gets them ready for the next stage of moving to middle school. Therefore, while formal learning is the main purpose of enrolling children into school, but playing enhances their overall development and encourages kids to attend school more often because children crave for enjoyment, thus making school a great place for their learning. For instance, many primary schools in my hometown often include extra activities like crafting, colouring and other activities while teaching basic concepts to improve their performance in every field.

In conclusion, I believe that encouraging schools to include more activities is important while creating a balance for children to flourish.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support a balance between formal learning and play, and you address both questions by explaining benefits of each. The examples of puzzles, outdoor movement, and teaching letters and numbers are relevant, while the hometown-school example helps illustrate combining activities with lessons. This meets the task well, but the two parts are not developed equally: the discussion of play is more detailed, whereas the case for formal learning is mainly limited to basic knowledge and preparation for middle school. The opening also does not directly say whether you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning. State the extent of your agreement explicitly, then explain with a specific classroom example how play can complement learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on play, a paragraph balancing learning and play, and a conclusion. The progression from the benefits of play to the need for formal learning is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “However,” and “For instance” help guide the reader. This is a coherent arrangement, though some connections feel mechanical or unclear. In the third paragraph, “Therefore” introduces a long sentence that combines several claims, and “while … but” makes the relationship between the ideas awkward. The conclusion repeats the general call for balance without drawing together the main reasons. Use clearer sentence boundaries and refer back explicitly to the two benefits when concluding.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “cognitive development,” “physical health,” “basic concepts,” and “overall development.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and the examples give you opportunities to use relevant educational vocabulary. However, some phrasing is imprecise or unnatural, such as “focused towards formal learning,” “brain development,” and “movement of body.” The repeated use of “activities,” “children,” and “learning” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary key terms where appropriate; for example, describe schools as “placing too much emphasis on formal instruction” and refer to “physical movement.” This would make your argument sound more natural and precise without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “because children require knowledge of basic things” and the example introduced by “while teaching basic concepts.” Most sentences remain understandable, and errors rarely obscure your meaning. Some grammatical problems nevertheless affect accuracy. In “both the learning as well as playing is necessary,” the paired construction and subject–verb agreement are faulty; use “both learning and playing are necessary.” The sentence beginning “Therefore” contains “while … but,” which creates an incorrect contrast structure, and “it requires movement of body” has an unclear pronoun reference. Break up long sentences and check agreement, articles, and clause connections. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.