Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that elementary schools focus more on studying. Although learning is important, children need to play because it is a critical milestone in their development and it is a reason for them to not develop a negative attitude towards studying due to the overload. Play is considered necessary because it gives children a chance to practice their milestones, which improves their functional tasks either the gross or fine motor skills. play also improves their critical thinking which broadens their horizons. For example, playing with building blocks show progression in their creative thinking. Kids who play with small objects illustrates progress in fine motor skills, which is important for holding a pen between fingers. On the other hand, formal learning is important but too much of it backfires and since they still have many years of school ahead of them, it is important that they don't lose their motivation. Teachers must develop different methods of learning for children, for instance using different markers for specific ideas and imitating character voices when reading a book to keep them alert and engaged. Every child is different than the peer sitting next to him. These methods make learning more enjoyable and less boring. As a result, teachers who incorporate play into learning help children stay motivated. In conclusion, while studying at a young age is important, because children are more prone to understand. play is as important as studying because they develop the critical skills that they need in their daily life, and view learning in a different way to be able to continue learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider play as important as formal study, and you address both the risks of excessive formal learning and the value of play. The examples of building blocks and small objects help explain how play can support creativity and fine motor skills, while your suggestions about markers and character voices show how teachers can make lessons engaging. This covers the task well, but some points are more fully explained than others. For instance, the claim that play prevents a negative attitude to studying is introduced but not supported with a specific explanation or example. The conclusion also mentions children being more prone to understand, without clarifying what they understand more easily. Developing these ideas and linking them more directly to your position would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: it introduces your view, develops reasons and examples, and ends with a conclusion. Connectors such as “Although,” “For example,” “On the other hand,” and “As a result” help show relationships between ideas. However, the progression within the main body is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are packed into one long paragraph, moving from developmental milestones to thinking skills, then to motivation and teaching methods. Some links are also unclear, such as the transition from the claim about overload to the discussion of motor skills. Use separate paragraphs for the benefits of play and for balancing formal learning with engaging teaching, and make each paragraph’s central point explicit. This would improve progression and reduce the sense of ideas being joined mechanically.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “gross or fine motor skills,” “critical thinking,” “motivation,” and “alert and engaged.” These terms help communicate relevant educational ideas, and the examples make several of them understandable in context. There are also some imprecise or unnatural choices that limit flexibility and precision. For example, “practice their milestones” does not clearly express the idea of developing skills, and “functional tasks” is vague in this context. “Different than the peer sitting next to him” is also an awkward way to express individual differences. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording, especially when explaining abstract claims. The meaning is generally clear, but more consistent control of these phrases would strengthen the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although,” “because,” and “which,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors, however, occur in both sentence structure and agreement. For example, “playing with building blocks show” should use a singular verb, while “Kids who play with small objects illustrates” has a plural subject followed by a singular verb. The conclusion’s opening, “while studying at a young age is important, because children are more prone to understand,” is also an incomplete or awkwardly connected construction. Capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent, as in “play also improves” and “play is as important.” Review subject–verb agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, and simplify sentences when the relationship between clauses is unclear.

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