Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Most of the time people argue that why formal learning become the main focus for the school.

It is very important for the children to play and learn in the primary school

In today's world where language one of the essential part of our society that how people address other how the start and maintaining the talk with others. If you want to become the infulential in the society and then you must know the formalities

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response makes a relevant start by stating that children need to “play and learn,” and it touches on formal learning through the discussion of language and social interaction. However, it does not clearly answer how far you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the position is not developed. The point about language and “formalities” is difficult to connect to the question, and there are no reasons or examples explaining the value of play or how classroom learning should be balanced. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, so there is not enough development to address both parts of the task. State your view directly, then support it with specific classroom examples and explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to move from the issue of formal learning to the importance of play and learning, so the reader can identify the general topic. However, the response has no developed paragraph structure or clear progression of ideas. The opening question-like statement is followed by a separate assertion, and the final sentence introduces language and social influence without showing how this supports the earlier point. Connections between ideas are therefore difficult to follow. Organise the essay into an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, with each paragraph focused on one reason. Use clear linking expressions and refer back explicitly to the question so the relationship between formal study, play and children’s development is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “primary school,” “society” and “maintaining the talk,” which shows an attempt to discuss education and communication. However, the range is narrow, and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, making the intended meaning less clear. For example, “become the influential in the society” does not express the idea naturally, while “formalities” is vague in this context. The spelling “infulential” also needs correction. Build a more precise vocabulary set for the topic, such as terms for classroom activities, social skills and child development, and check collocations and word forms. This will help you explain your ideas more clearly rather than relying on broad statements.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and a longer sentence beginning “In today’s world,” showing some effort to vary sentence structure. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence formation and agreement often make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “people argue that why formal learning become the main focus” has an incorrect embedded question structure and verb form; “language one of the essential part” is missing a verb and has an agreement error; and “how the start and maintaining the talk” is not a complete, correctly formed clause. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then connect them with subordinate clauses. Check articles, singular and plural agreement, and punctuation before adding more complex structures.

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