Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. This is quite difficult for students in primary education. It is important for children to focus on both playing and learning in the primary school classroom.

Although most people think that primary schools are the only place where children build their focus on studies. Hence, it will prepare them for their future studies. This is attributed to creating a stressful environment for children in the primary school classroom. This is the age when they learn to be more attentive and creative. They need to be taught about discipline, which is essential in every part of life for children. Formal learning helps the students to shape their minds not their body. Hence, it will be very important to shape their body. Instead of formal learning, making them play with other children will help them to be cooperative and also build leadership and social qualities. Children thrive on learning from their mistakes.

For instance, studies show children learning through formal education tend to face more stress at an early age than other children who learn through playing as well as formal education. Due to this, children lose interest in their studies and focus primarily on other activities, which will distract them from learning. In contrast, children who are doing both activities tend to be more creative. They have become more creative and interested in learning new things.

Hence, apart from formal learning, playing as a part of education helps students to build their minds and bodies in their primary school education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by arguing that children need formal learning as well as play, and you give relevant reasons, including cooperation, leadership, creativity and stress. However, your position is not fully clear: the opening says balancing both is important, while the discussion sometimes contrasts formal learning with play without explaining how much formal learning is excessive. The example beginning “studies show” is broad and unsupported, and several points, such as discipline and shaping the body, need clearer explanation or a specific example. The response is also one word below the required minimum; the 12 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from the count. Develop your view more consistently and support it with a concrete classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, a main discussion and a conclusion, and linking expressions such as “For instance,” “In contrast” and “Hence” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression between ideas is uneven. The paragraph beginning “Although most people think” moves from study focus to stress, discipline, shaping minds and bodies, and then social qualities without clearly connecting these points. “Hence” is also used where the relationship between ideas is not established, and the final paragraph largely repeats the opening claim rather than drawing the argument together. Organise the body around distinct points—for example, the limits of formal instruction and the benefits of play—and use clearer references and transitions to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “attentive,” “cooperative,” “leadership” and “creative,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, particularly repeated uses of “creative” and “build their minds and bodies.” Some combinations sound unnatural, such as “build their focus on studies” and “shape their body,” which make the intended meaning less precise. Aim for more accurate collocations and vary repeated terms while keeping the language natural. For example, describe play as developing social skills or physical coordination, and formal lessons as structured academic instruction. This would make your discussion clearer and more specific.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including “Although most people think…” and “For instance, studies show…,” alongside shorter statements, so there is some structural variety. However, complex constructions are not consistently controlled. “Although most people think that primary schools are the only place…” is left as a dependent clause, and “Hence, it will prepare them…” does not connect clearly to a grammatical main clause. There are also errors in agreement and verb form, as in “children who are doing both activities tend to be more creative. They have become more creative,” where the tense shift is confusing. Practise completing subordinate clauses and maintaining consistent tense, and check sentence boundaries and punctuation so relationships between ideas are clear.

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