Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education is most for anyone but we cannot neglect importance of sports especially for the primary school children. In our society, mostly parents and school force children in formal learning. In formal learning not doubt student focus on academics more but somehow there is a lack of concentration. In my opinion, there will be a proper time for playing along with formal leaning.

To begin with, our school system too much focus on formal learning because there will be a lack of proper guidance to teacher and due to system imposed on teachers that they have to show results to competent authorities. Our society influence also play role in it. Teachers focus only on learning the books to student along with assignmet and quizzes, so they prepare students for their upcoming exams. In this scenario, actually student lose interest in playing games. For example, if we compare two students one with formal learning and other one with a interest in playing. Then other one is more concentarted and active rather than one who focus on formal learning.

Moreover, there will be a proper management between study and playing. Student should participate in different playing activities such as to solve puzzles and task to do,which builts confidence in them. As in western countries, they should focus on student self learning and there primary school classrooms are just like a playing room. In which students done lot of activities rather than focus on exams, assignment etc. For instance, student whose focus mainly in self learning have a strong and firm confidence despite that one who studied due to fear of pass and fail system of exams.

In conclusion, children in primary class gives a proper environment of self learning where they can grow with a confidence, concentration, and make decision by own. School and teachers should play important rules.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a relevant position: formal study should be balanced with play, and you explain that play can support concentration, confidence and decision-making. The response also addresses why schools may emphasise academic work, referring to pressure on teachers to show results and preparation for exams. However, the two parts of the question are not developed evenly. The extent of your agreement is implied rather than stated clearly, and the importance of classroom play is asserted more than explained. Examples such as comparing two students and referring to Western classrooms are broad and do not clearly demonstrate the claimed benefits. State your position directly, then develop each main reason with a specific, credible example and a clearer explanation of how play complements learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “Moreover,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the comparison between students in the first body paragraph does not follow smoothly from the discussion of exam pressure, and the Western-country example is not sufficiently connected to the point about classroom play. Some linking phrases are repetitive or awkward, while references such as “other one” make it difficult to identify which student is meant. Organise each paragraph around one clear claim, explain it, and then use a directly relevant example. Clearer referencing and more precise transitions would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to education, including “formal learning,” “concentration,” “self learning,” and “confidence,” so the topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “Education is most for anyone,” “a proper management between study and playing,” and “school and teachers should play important rules.” There are also spelling errors such as “concentarted” and “assignmet.” Aim for more precise phrases and check spelling carefully; for instance, distinguish between academic instruction and play-based learning, and use natural combinations such as “balance study with play” or “build confidence.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “if,” and “despite,” but complex structures are often not controlled successfully. Errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction occur throughout, as in “our school system too much focus,” “student lose interest,” and “students done lot of activities.” Some sentences are incomplete or difficult to parse, particularly “In which students done lot of activities,” while punctuation and spacing also need attention. These errors can make the reader work to understand your ideas. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement and verb tense in each clause.

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