Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people says that primary institutes place too much focus on formal studies. Their argument is that in primary schools they should put more effort on the conceptual studies and on other activities beyond the syllabus.

At first, primary schools just focus to complete their syllabus instead of their character developement because they really treat them as a robot

and just do it for the publicity of their school. Nowadays, children of primary schools does not have ethics and become agressive with in a short time as my brother because they have not learned about them in schools. According to some people the schools do not put much efforts to groom the students in term of behaviour and in their mental growth.

From my prespective, the people who are arguing about primary school are at the right side because formal learning is not the only thing for which student goes to school. They also must ensure that the children's must take part in co-curricular activities which can help their mind to get sharp and active. Social skills like communication and desicion making should also must be improved in primary schools by the help of games. Conceptual learning should be introduces in primary level by which children get toknow what they are learning. One more thing which can be done is to put forward different kind of competitions by which the reaction time and the time to take decision of student will decrease like in the primary schools of Japan.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position in favour of the view that primary schools should do more than formal study, and you give relevant examples such as games, co-curricular activities and competitions. However, the response only partly addresses the two questions: it explains why play and broader development matter, but does not clearly assess how important play is alongside learning in classroom practice. Several claims, including that schools treat children “as a robot” or that pupils lack ethics, are broad and need explanation or evidence. The Japan example is mentioned but not developed. The response is also one word below the required minimum. To strengthen the answer, state your degree of agreement directly and explain how play can support learning, with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing concerns about formal schooling, and a paragraph giving your own view and suggestions. This makes the main position possible to follow. However, progression between ideas is not always clear: the first body paragraph moves from syllabus completion to publicity, then to children’s ethics and behaviour without showing how these points connect. The final paragraph also combines several ideas—co-curricular activities, social skills, conceptual learning and competitions—rather than developing them in a logical sequence. Linking phrases such as “At first” and “One more thing” are used, but do not always clarify the relationship between points. Group related ideas and use clearer transitions to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal studies,” “co-curricular activities,” “social skills,” and “conceptual learning.” These choices show an attempt to discuss education beyond basic classroom subjects. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning less clear. For example, “character developement,” “groom the students in term of behaviour,” and “the reaction time and the time to take decision … will decrease” do not express the ideas naturally. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “prespective,” “desicion,” and “agressive.” Build a more precise set of education-related collocations and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “which,” and the reader can generally identify your main ideas. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Examples include “Some people says,” “children … does not have,” and “they also must ensure that the children's must take part,” where agreement or verb construction is incorrect. In “Conceptual learning should be introduces,” the passive verb form is inaccurate, while “primary schools just focus to complete” uses an incorrect verb pattern. These errors recur and can make sentences difficult to process. Practise subject–verb agreement, modal constructions, passive forms and verb patterns, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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