Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The primary schools focusing on formal learning is a point of debate among people. Many people argue that excessive emphasis on formal education is not always beneficial for the children and that schools should also accomodate playing in the children's learning curriculum.

To some extent, I agree with the opinion. Especially for the primary school students, playing is as much important as studying to help them grow, both physically and mentally.

During primary school, the students are at a age where they learn while playing or doing activities by themselves. They are not at an age to fully understand the meaning of formal education and to properly distinguish between homes and schools. Adding games and playing in the grounds with their classmates into the curriculum might boost their learing process through real experiences and their efforts to solve a problem on their own.

Leaving children to play on their own will definitly help them bulid conflict and peace building skills among their friends, help them to act as an independent person, develop their problem solving and communication skills.

Children are the most curious little being and it is difficult to control and make them study the same thing repeatedly. They always tend to try new things. The teachers must include games like puzzles, color sorting, shape identifying, and activities like drawing, singing, dancing, running, etc. into their learing activities. These will not only result in their cognitive development but also help them keep physically active.

It is important to take a balanced approach with the primary school students incorporating both formal and informal education to develop them in all areas and not pushing them to just cram the learning material from the start.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree to some extent that formal learning should not dominate, and you explain why play matters for children’s physical, mental and social development. You also address both parts of the prompt by discussing the balance between learning and play and giving classroom examples such as puzzles, drawing and dancing. These relevant points support the response well. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that children cannot distinguish between home and school is not clearly connected to the need for classroom play. The response also focuses more on the benefits of play than on whether primary schools currently place excessive emphasis on formal learning. Develop that comparison and explain one example in greater depth to make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces your view, develops reasons for play in separate paragraphs, and ends by recommending a balance between formal and informal education. The progression from children’s development to specific classroom activities is generally easy to follow. Some links between ideas are less clear, however. The sentence about children not distinguishing between home and school does not lead smoothly into the point about games, and the paragraph beginning “Leaving children to play on their own” presents several benefits in a list-like sequence. Use clearer links to show how each benefit follows from play, and make paragraph focus more consistent. A more explicit transition between the discussion of social skills and the examples of teacher-led activities would also strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “cognitive development,” “problem solving,” and “communication skills.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and the examples of classroom activities are specific. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “build conflict and peace building skills,” “curious little being,” and “learning curriculum.” Spelling errors in “accomodate,” “learing,” “definitly,” and “bulid” also reduce accuracy. The range is adequate, but greater control of natural phrasing is needed for more precise expression. Review spelling carefully and choose established expressions such as “conflict-resolution skills” and “curious young learners.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “Children are the most curious little being and it is difficult to control and make them study…” and the concluding sentence with “incorporating both formal and informal education.” Most of your meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors persist. For example, “The primary schools focusing on formal learning is” has a subject–verb agreement problem and an incomplete opening construction; “at a age” needs the correct article, and “These will not only result… but also help…” has an unclear reference. The sentence about children’s age and distinguishing between home and school is also difficult to parse. Check agreement, articles and pronoun references, and revise longer sentences so their relationships are clear.

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