Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been observe that some people discuss that primary school focus on too much on course outline of school.Although some people believe that primery school focum, on formal learning but i firmly disagree with that because only formal learning can cause pressure on young learner and they are become less focused on education.

The formost my arguement to justify my stand is that only formal learning is not good for young learner because if they are not learn other activities in class room are become lazy and mentaly they feel stressed. To overcome this situation primary schools have to arrange some activities in classroom like give them some task in the form of groups so that they learn more in this way they should Know how to do team work and how to handle different task.

Different games in primary schools is also very importan part on in classroom by playing or participating inndifferent games chaildren get confidence and they become motivated that how to compete with others and how to handle a game by themself.as well as if teachers guide them and encourage them how to work on projects other than formal learn they learn about team work and know how to organised in a team and how it is important.

Although formal learning play important role in focusing on study goals but other activites help formal learn how to improve course outline and enhance ability to do hard work to complete their goals.

To conclude the discussion i can be said that formal education is only motivate and encourage students if they also in other activities of class room in this way they easily can focus on study and their mental health also reman good. young learn in class room have to do different activities and also complete tasks that there teachers assign them.In this way my reasons are logically acceptable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position by saying, “I firmly disagree,” and you address both formal learning and the value of classroom activities. Relevant points include the risk of stress, the benefits of group tasks, and how games may build confidence and motivation. However, the response only partially develops the task: it does not explain clearly how much formal learning is excessive, and several claims—such as activities helping children “improve course outline”—are difficult to understand or support. The second question about the importance of play is addressed, but the explanation remains general. To strengthen the response, explain your position more precisely and develop each main reason with a clear example or explanation of how play supports children’s learning and wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, several body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally relate to the topic. You use signposting such as “To overcome this situation,” “Although,” and “To conclude,” which helps show some relationships between points. However, progression is not consistently clear: the paragraphs repeat the value of activities and teamwork, while the relationship between formal learning and play is sometimes hard to follow. Some linking phrases are used awkwardly, and references such as “in this way” do not always make clear which idea they refer to. Improve the organisation by giving each body paragraph one distinct main point, then explain it in a logical sequence. Use fewer, more precise transitions and ensure each sentence clearly connects to the one before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “team work,” “confidence,” “motivated,” and “mental health.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both learning and children’s development. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear, for example “course outline of school,” “improve course outline,” and “handle a game by themself.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “primery,” “chaildren,” and “activites,” are also noticeable and can distract the reader. Build a more precise vocabulary for classroom learning and play, and check spelling carefully. Prefer natural phrases such as “curriculum,” “develop social skills,” and “take part in games” rather than translating ideas word by word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and concessive forms such as “if they are not learn…” and “Although formal learning play important role…”. This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas, but complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. Examples include “primary school focus,” “they are become less focused,” and “formal learning play,” where subject–verb agreement or verb forms are incorrect. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “important part on in classroom” and the run-on sentence beginning “Different games in primary schools…”. Practise accurate present-tense forms, agreement, articles and punctuation. Shorter, correctly controlled sentences would make your ideas clearer before you add more complex structures.

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