Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that undergraduates are more focused on formal education while others argue that playing and learning new skills are also crucial part of a student life. I largely argue with this viewpoint that students should be taught extra curriculum activities as well.

On the one hand, education plays a fundamental role for developing children mentality. Schools should also focus on the major subjects through which individual could be able to solve mathematical and logical problems.However, creating more pressure on students to focus on formal education could be stressful. They might find it monotonous and tough to deal with education. For instance, student may seek alternates solution to solve these problems.

On the other hand, creating a balanced environment for education and enjoyment may reduce the frustrations that the students are constantly facing. It makes the situation ease as well as it could be a best place to inherit new skills. Actively participating into games enhances the skills of leadership, communication and as well as participation.For instance, teachers could organise various competitions to imrpove students overall development such as mathematics competition, games competition and dances.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that primary shoulf focus on overall development of the students rather than foucing too much on formal studies.Although, recreational studies builds the foundationn of a student, indulging into extra activities inclines their potentiality to various factors as well as development of personality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that primary education should include activities beyond formal study, and you offer relevant points about pressure, enjoyment, and skills such as leadership and communication. However, the response only partially addresses the task: it shifts between “undergraduates,” “students,” and primary-school children, and does not clearly explain how important classroom play is compared with learning. The examples of competitions are relevant but are listed rather than explained, while the point about students seeking “alternates solution” is unclear. The response is also 16 words below the required minimum. To strengthen the answer, state your degree of agreement directly, focus consistently on primary pupils, and develop one or two examples showing how play supports learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the example about seeking alternative solutions does not clearly follow from the point about pressure, and the list of competitions does not explain their connection to overall development. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the general position without bringing the main reasons together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports. Also check punctuation spacing, such as the missing space after “problems.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal education,” “fundamental role,” “monotonous,” “leadership,” and “overall development.” These choices show an effort to discuss both academic learning and personal skills. However, several inaccurate or unnatural expressions make parts of the argument less clear, such as “education and enjoyment,” “makes the situation ease,” “inherit new skills,” and “inclines their potentiality.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “imrpove,” “shoulf,” “foucing,” and “foundationn.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and proofread carefully. For example, describe play as helping children “develop” skills, and say that a balanced classroom “reduces frustration” rather than “makes the situation ease.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and attempts at more complex structures, including “Although, recreational studies builds the foundationn of a student…” and the contrast between the two body paragraphs. Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms occur throughout. Examples include “also crucial part” (missing article), “education plays a fundamental role for developing” (incorrect preposition pattern), “individual could be able” (number and article issues), and “participating into games” (preposition choice). The final sentence also has an awkward “Although” clause that is not properly connected to the main clause. Practise building accurate sentences with subordinate clauses, and check articles, subject–verb agreement, and punctuation before submitting.

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