Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A certain group of indivuduals believe that primary schools concentrates excessively on formal education. I firmly agree with this statement as primary schools try to influnce pupils to focus on the academic curriculum solely and instill a belief that academic success is the most esential part in their life.

Primary school's major goal nowadays is to encourage students to study for their exam and according to them playing with friends is a waste of time. Their formal learning mathod consists of teaching children just by textbook and take their exam after a certain period of time. This approach results in lack of interest for school among children. Children tend to learn more effictively when they enjoy the process of it. Therefore, creating a fun environment for children and let them play alongside learning may build interest in them to attend at school regularly. For instance, schools can introduce vocabulary or rhymes games and gift them snacks after hearing their answers. This type of initiative can encourage them to study.

Additionally, playing and learning mathod remove the the mental pressure from the students head. Formal learning mathiod creates unnecesssary pressure for children before exam which could be eradicated by playing and learning process. That is because, this mathod's main goal is to help children learn while enjoying the process. In contrast, formal learning instills the though of grades solely. For instance, students who are in formal learning mathod often memorise answers for better grades rather than understanding and enjoying.

In conclusion, formal learning may prove to be hectic for the children and let them view study as burden. However, playing and learning mathod may prove to be the superior approach to help children learn in a fun way and enhance their interest towards schools and studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you firmly agree that primary schools overemphasise formal education, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both the focus on formal learning and the value of combining play with learning. Relevant support includes the contrast between textbook-and-exam teaching and enjoyable activities, plus the example of vocabulary or rhyme games. The explanation that play can reduce pressure and encourage understanding is also pertinent. However, the discussion of why formal learning is excessive is somewhat general, and the benefits of play are not explored in equal depth; for example, you could explain how play develops social skills or problem-solving. More specific examples and fuller development of these points would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from engagement with school to reducing exam pressure is logical, and signposts such as “Additionally,” “Therefore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The first body paragraph moves from exam-focused teaching to attendance and then to giving snacks, so the example does not fully develop the central point about learning through play. Repeated references to “formal learning” and “playing and learning method” also make the cohesion somewhat mechanical. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and vary referencing with phrases such as “this approach” where the meaning is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “academic curriculum,” “mental pressure,” “memorise,” and “understanding,” and the reader can generally follow your meaning. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “instill a belief” and “eradicated.” However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “indivuduals,” “influnce,” “esential,” and “unnecesssary,” and several word choices or collocations are unnatural: “attend at school,” “view study as burden,” and “enhance their interest towards schools.” The repeated use of “method” and “formal learning” also limits range. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations in context; more precise phrasing would make the argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “That is because” and a contrast introduced by “In contrast.” Most sentences communicate the intended point, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “primary schools concentrates” should use a plural verb, while “playing and learning method remove” also has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “let them play alongside learning,” the verb form does not fit smoothly with “creating,” and “view study as burden” is missing an article. There is also an awkward construction in “after hearing their answers.” Review agreement, articles, and parallel verb forms, then proofread each sentence for a complete and natural grammatical pattern.

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