Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's education syestem, many educational institutes focus on traditional learning. some other people argue that play activities can be favourable for primary students. I largely agree with this view, although formal learning is essential for children, While, play activities are remain equally important for classroom students.

To begin with, i belive that formal education plays a vital role in children life. this is mainly because if they learn about varios subjects, reading and writing even mathematics so these can be better options for children.For example, if many students has good writing skills and abiliaty to achieve the goals so these skills can be most helpful for their next secondary education. Although, some children face excessive burden also widely home work so these can be huge demotivation for children. Therefore, primary schools provides better environment and less workload.

Furthermore, it is necessary for children to take part in play activities and primary school should provide these type of opportunities for students. because, when children plays numerous activities as, playing cricket, hockey and any phsical sports then they feel much more comfortable. For instance, children take part in play activities so they know about social awarness and become more energatic even can maintain phsicaly fitness. However it is crucial for children to maintain disiplan in primary school classroom.Consequently, through these play children can be able to do anything in classroom activities.

In conclusion, I largely agree that, recent educational system provide better learning opportunities for children to gain extra knowledge even for their scendory education. While, sport activities are equally important and necessary part of primary classroom education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear overall: you largely agree that play should accompany formal learning, and you discuss both the value of academic subjects and the benefits of play. The examples of learning to read, write and do mathematics, and of playing team sports, are relevant. However, the ideas are only partly developed. The first body paragraph shifts from the benefits of formal learning to homework burden without explaining how schools should balance the two. The second mentions social awareness and fitness, but does not clearly explain why play belongs in the classroom or how it supports learning. Address both questions more directly and extend each main point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly separate formal learning from play. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion of writing skills moves abruptly to homework and workload, while the final sentence of the play paragraph does not clearly follow from the points before it. Some connectors are used mechanically or inaccurately, including “Although” where the sentence does not form a complete contrast. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports; ensure pronouns such as “these” have an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal education,” “subjects,” “workload,” “play activities” and “physical fitness.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “social awareness” and “demotivation.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors make parts less clear, for example “syestem,” “varios,” “energetic” (written as “energatic”) and “maintain physicaly fitness.” Phrases such as “do anything in classroom activities” are also vague. Build accuracy by checking spelling and choosing natural combinations of words, and avoid repeating “play activities” when more precise terms such as “team sports” or “recreational activities” would fit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures, as in “if they learn about various subjects” and “when children play numerous activities.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to make some ideas difficult to follow. For example, “play activities are remain” combines incompatible verb forms, and “when children plays” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. Several sentences also run together or use incomplete clauses, such as “because, when children…” and “Although, some children face…”. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, tense and punctuation.

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