Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The question of whether primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning attracts different point of views. I would incline more towards the one which agrees with it because formal learning is merely one part of the education our children are supposed to be exposed to. Being able to play, socialize with their friends, and having the liberty to truly explore themselves are equally important for children.

Formal learning, while being important, is often over emphasized in primary schools. It is prevalent, at least in the sub-continental region, that children are often expected to attend lectures after lectures of formal subjects, with only one or two lectures in a week for other activities like sports. The testing and evaluating system does not help either. Tests and assessments are often scheduled after every few weeks, placing children under the stress of preparing for them which results in them sacrificing time from other essential activities. It is fair to say that even today, most of the primary schools around the globe still follow this rigid and outdated structure, which consequently makes formal learning the primary purpose of schooling among children.

A child's growth in the primary schools is not only in the formal learning, but also in playing with their friends in the classrooms. My favorite memories from primary school are not scoring high grades, or impressing teachers with my math skills, but pulling off silly pranks on my friends, and playing pass the ball in the classrooms. Playing and spending quality times with your friends in primary school not only becomes a life long memory, but also helps develop your social skills, and your ability to connect with people. Furthermore, it makes the schooling experience something that the children look forward to every day. Such an environment accelerates learning in children.

The primary schools are still, at large, focused on formal learning, which makes schooling a potentially unpleasant experience for children. Having a right balance between formal learning and other activities, such as playing, creates and fosters an environment where children prosper.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you explain why play matters alongside academic study. The response addresses both parts of the prompt, especially through the discussion of social skills, positive memories and children looking forward to school. The personal example of playing pass the ball also supports your view. However, the two parts are not developed equally: the case that schools overemphasise formal learning relies on broad claims about schools “around the globe” and the “sub-continental region,” without a specific example or qualification. The benefits of play are more persuasive, but could be extended with a concrete explanation of how classroom play supports learning. This balance of relevant ideas with some underdevelopment limits the response’s completeness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs develop the main reasons, and the conclusion returns to the need for balance. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore” and “while being important” help connect points. The personal memory also gives the third paragraph a clear focus. At times, however, connections are a little mechanical or imprecise. For example, “The testing and evaluating system does not help either” refers back broadly to the previous point, and the final sentence, “Such an environment accelerates learning,” would benefit from a clearer explanation of how the environment produces this result. More explicit links between claims and examples, and clearer referencing, would make the progression more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling and childhood, including “formal learning,” “rigid and outdated structure,” “social skills,” and “fosters an environment.” These choices communicate your ideas clearly, and some less common expressions show an effort to be precise. However, several word choices or collocations are awkward, such as “different point of views,” “lectures after lectures,” and “quality times.” “Over emphasized” is also better written as one word, “overemphasised.” Some phrases are broad or repetitive, including repeated references to “formal learning” and “primary schools.” Aim for more natural collocations and a wider set of precise terms for classroom activities and children’s development; this would make the argument sound more fluent and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “while being important” and “which consequently makes formal learning the primary purpose.” Most sentences are understandable, and errors rarely obscure your meaning. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain. For example, “Being able to play, socialize with their friends, and having the liberty” mixes structures in a list; use parallel forms such as “playing, socialising … and having.” In “a life long memory,” the compound adjective should be “lifelong,” while “spending quality times” also needs a singular or uncountable construction. The sentence beginning “It is prevalent … that” is awkwardly structured, and “a child’s growth in the primary schools” has an unclear article and plural reference. More consistent parallelism and sentence construction would improve accuracy.

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