Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that too much formal studies are more important than playing. In my opinoin i am totally disgree with this concept with studies playing is also too much important for comfort of mind.

Fisrtly why i am disgaree with this statement children going to there schools regularly and when they free from schools and back to there homes they again went to tutions centers and after that they were too much tired and no time for play and the sleep down on there beds.For example extra study can cause unhealthy to children they become lazy in other co-curriculum activities on the other hand when the play they walk there bodies become strong and active if they rely on only one thing they will become sick.

In contrase to those who play and study together are more genious and active for exmaple some games are brain storming and if brain uses they become more intelligent in mathematics and other subjects because some playing are related to knowlege.

On the other view, the children which are only focused on playing rather than study in this case playing is not a good factor because they spent mostly there leisure time in playing instead of study for example they only use online playing which can effect there eyes and in result suffer from headache and other problems.

In my opinion it is very beneficial both play and study together for healthy life running jumping very important for bone and brain.

At the end conslucion is that both play and study makes children good in regular routine and excellent in there study as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that children should both play and study, and you address the concern that play alone can be unhelpful. Relevant reasons include tiredness from extra tuition and the benefits of physical activity and games that develop thinking. However, the response only partly answers the question about whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning: it mainly discusses children’s schedules and the value of play, without clearly explaining what formal learning in the classroom should look like or how much emphasis is excessive. Several claims, such as games making children more intelligent in mathematics, are asserted rather than explained. Develop each main point with a specific classroom example and make your degree of agreement explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a concluding statement, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other view” and “At the end.” However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from tuition and tiredness to health, physical strength and illness without clearly connecting each point. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, and references such as “they” and “this case” do not always make clear which children or idea you mean. Organise each paragraph around one central claim, then explain it and give a directly relevant example. Use transitions to show the relationship between ideas rather than simply announcing another point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “co-curriculum activities,” “brain storming,” “leisure time” and “beneficial,” and you attempt to express ideas about health, learning and play. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, as in “formal studies are more important than playing,” “comfort of mind” and “the sleep down on there beds.” Spelling errors such as “opinoin,” “disgree,” “Fisrtly” and “conslucion” are also noticeable. Aim to learn common topic phrases as complete units and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help distinguish formal classroom learning, homework or tuition, and recreational play.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when explaining that children may become tired after school and tuition, and you use some simple sentences to state your position. However, the range of structures is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in phrases such as “too much formal studies,” “when they free from schools” and “they become more intelligent”; articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. The long sentence beginning “Fisrtly why i am disgaree” is difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences with a subject and verb, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check agreement, articles and full stops when editing.

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