Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that prrimary schools should emphasis less on formal learning. In my opinion, academinc learning such as sports, art etc are very essential but i agree that we have to fous mainly on primary school education because it is foundation stone for furthere studies.

On one hand, prmary school education is very essential for students because in primary school education is base for higher education. In this era we learn writting and reading skills as well as, also under stand how to solve mathamatical problems. These abilities form fondation for their future education. For example, if a student properly understand how to read english and urdu book also if he is able to solve different types of maths problems it is reward for him that he is able to get higher education.

Onn the otherhand, academic learning like sports, art, quiz compitions etc are also very essential for students both mental amd physical health. If a person continuosly study its brain become stressed and he will farstateed so, sports and games are essential because it plays a vital role in the brain growth and also iprove physical fitness o the student body. For instant, a who play football daily is relatively active and strong metalll then those who not play because sports hel them to handle different siruations such as, teamwork, failure, strugle, patience etc.

In conclusion, both sports and primary education is essential for child with a balane

but primary education is more essential then thatt of sports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view: formal education is important as a foundation, while activities such as sport and art also benefit children. This addresses both the question of emphasis and the importance of play, and your examples about literacy, mathematics, football, teamwork and fitness are relevant. However, the position is not fully consistent: the opening says academic learning such as sport and art is essential, while the conclusion compares primary education with sport rather than explaining how classroom time should be balanced. Several points are asserted rather than developed—for example, you mention mental health and brain growth but do not explain in detail how play supports learning. Clarify your degree of agreement and extend the reasons with specific classroom examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The signposts “On one hand,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers identify the stages of your argument, and each body paragraph has a main focus. However, progression within sentences is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the first paragraph, where the relationship between formal learning and activities such as sport and art is unclear. Some linking is mechanical, and the example about reading and mathematics repeats the point that these skills support later education rather than extending it. Improve cohesion by making each paragraph’s central claim explicit, using pronouns with clear references, and linking each example directly to the question of how learning and play should be balanced.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “foundation,” “higher education,” “physical fitness,” “teamwork” and “patience,” which helps communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response harder to understand, such as “foucs,” “farstateed,” “metalll” and “siruations.” Some combinations are also unnatural: “academic learning like sports” does not clearly distinguish formal study from play, and “it is reward for him” is not an appropriate expression in this context. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “academic subjects,” “recreational activities” and “a strong foundation.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise terms for the two sides of the argument would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional and reason clauses, as in “If a person continuously study…” and “because sports help them…”. This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms and sentence construction frequently interrupt the message. For example, “its brain become stressed” needs a plural subject and matching verb, while “a who play football daily” is missing a noun and has an incorrect verb form. The final sentence, “both sports and primary education is essential,” also has subject–verb disagreement. Practise building accurate sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check that subjects and verbs agree and that each sentence has a complete, clear structure.

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