Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is observed that some are of the opinion that primary schools mainly concentrate to the maximum level on academic learning. To certain extent i agree with this opinion and I believe that in my view children must be allowed to play as well along with academic sessions.

The schools are foundation stones for learning. The schooling starts from pre, primary learning to post graduation learning, at the age of 8 years childrens starts attending school. The basic academic subject will be thought to them.

These will be thought using the academic textsbooks prescribe for diffrent subjects like language, science, art subjects. I strongly believe that there must be allotment of time slot for making the children to learn indoor and outdoor games like chess, caroom board, art and painting classes, cricket, soccer and many more activities. Furthermore, they most be thought singing, playing musical instrument and other cultural activities. These activities will make the children to build up thier academic skills, physical and mental strengh.

Finally as a result the schools will build up their to lead happy and healthy life.

Secondly, it is also believed that schooling also must concentrate on academic study but according to recent by a reputed educational consultants found out that near academic coaching in schools is of not much use.

Finally, In conclusion considering my arrgumentative approach it is crystal clear that schools are not only concentrate on acdemic activity but also extra circular activities which is much useful to children to lead a better life in their future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a relevant, generally clear position: you agree to some extent that schools focus heavily on academic learning and argue that children should also have time for play and other activities. The examples of chess, painting, sport, music and cultural activities help address the second question. However, the first question is only partly explored: you do not explain in detail why primary schools may place too much emphasis on formal learning, and the claim about educational consultants is vague and unsupported. The benefits of activities are also asserted rather than explained with a specific example. Develop both parts more evenly by explaining how play supports learning and by giving a clear reason or example for your view about formal instruction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening position, supporting points and a conclusion, and the reader can identify the main topic. However, the progression between ideas is difficult to follow. The paragraph beginning “The schools are foundation stones for learning” shifts to the age children start school and then to textbooks without clearly connecting these points to your argument. “Secondly” introduces a point that is not developed, while “Finally” is used both before the conclusion and in the conclusion itself. Several ideas are crowded into one paragraph, and references such as “These” are not always clear. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and conclusion, and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “academic learning,” “physical and mental” development, and examples of classroom activities. This gives you enough language to communicate your basic position. However, word choice, collocation and spelling are often inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “concentrate to the maximum level,” “thought” for “taught,” “near academic coaching,” and “extra circular activities.” There are also spelling errors such as “diffrent,” “thier” and “strengh.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than formal-sounding expressions, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for the effects of play—such as cooperation, creativity and problem-solving—would also help develop your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a sentence beginning “Furthermore” and a concluding sentence introduced by “Finally.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “children must be allowed to play as well along with academic sessions” has an awkward structure, and “the schools will build up their to lead” is incomplete. There are also problems with agreement and sentence construction in “schools are not only concentrate,” as well as missing or inconsistent punctuation and capitalisation. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses to explain reasons. Proofread each sentence for a complete structure and consistent verb forms.

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