Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is believed that primary schools invest too much on formal learning. I completely agree with this notion as it can be beneficial to children to their future aspects. However, leisure time plays a significant role because it helps them cope with stress caused by the school.

Primary schools focusing on formal learning benefit students because certain subjects help children learn knowledge that can be beneficial in their preferred profession. This is because primary schools education primarily teaches about the first step of achieving profession such as math, science and other subjects. For example, a lot of children want to become an astronaut to travel to the moon, in that way the basic knowledge they learned from school can help them achieve that goal as a first step. Therefore, I believe that formal education can help children in their future professions.

Nevertheless, free time has an important role in children because schools can be stressful most of the time and thus leisure time helps them cope the stress. It can also help them maintain their motivation because stress can also reduce their productivity. For example, when I was in elementary school I have never felt any academic pressure or stress due to a lot of free time that I had as I was playing with my classmates all the time. As a result, I believe that play time can help learners to reduce stress and balance their productivity.

In conclusion, I firmly agree to the former notion as it can benefit students to their future jobs. However, I believe that free time plays a vital role to students because it can balance their productivity and lessen their academic stress.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, while also arguing that play is important. You address both questions and give relevant support, including the example of children aspiring to become astronauts and your own experience of playing with classmates. However, the first body paragraph mainly explains how formal education can help future careers; it does not clearly show why schools focus on it too much. The discussion of play is more directly connected to the question, but its benefits are mostly limited to reducing stress and maintaining productivity. Develop the central argument by explaining what an excessive focus on formal lessons displaces, and extend the benefits of play with a specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from formal learning to play is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Nevertheless” and “In conclusion” help show the relationship between ideas. Some connections are less precise or feel mechanical, however. For example, “Therefore” introduces a conclusion about career benefits without resolving the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning. In the first paragraph, the astronaut example is relevant but its link to the main argument could be made clearer. Use topic sentences that directly answer the prompt, and make each example explicitly support the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic pressure,” “motivation,” and “productivity.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and you attempt some more specific expressions. However, several word combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “invest too much on formal learning,” “future aspects,” “achieving profession,” and “cope the stress.” Repetition of “benefit,” “children,” and “free time” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn vocabulary in natural combinations and choose precise terms for your ideas; for instance, distinguish between “playtime,” “leisure,” and “classroom activities.” This would make the argument sound more fluent and exact without changing its meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “as,” and “when.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the overall argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in articles, verb forms, and sentence construction. For example, “primary schools education” needs a possessive form, while “I have never felt” is inconsistent with the past-time context of “when I was in elementary school.” The sentence beginning “For example, a lot of children want to become an astronaut” also joins ideas awkwardly. Review article use and tense consistency, and practise punctuating longer sentences so that examples and explanations are clearly separated.

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