Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A few people argue that primary schools concentrate mainly on formal learning. I completely agree the statement, in recent times, they mainly concentrate on the formal learning in order to bring the children competetive. But this result the children to loose their play time at their childhood.

To meet the competitive world, schools are concentrated on the formal learning at very beginning of the children life. At this point, their most of play time is vanished. In my perspective, children should concentrate on studies as well as on games. Moreover, every school should include sports and activities as a part of their cirriculum. For instance, International schools concentrate on all round development of the children. They include activities like sports, art, cycling, pottery etc as a part of their cirriculum. This will create an interest on studies to the children, and to play at the same time.

Parents send their children to primary schools, in order to habituate them to the school. If schools focus on formal learning, and don't allow them to play, that generate fear on children to go school. If primary schools are strictly concentrated on education, rather than other activities children will develop fear to go to school and not show interest on education. Because of this reason, primary schools should allow the children to play as well as learn in the school classrooms.

I conclude, It is very important to overall development of children, and that will happen if they are allowed to play and learn at primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis and argue that play should accompany study. You address both questions, giving relevant reasons such as supporting children’s overall development and preventing them from becoming afraid of school. The examples of sports, art and pottery help illustrate your point, but the explanation of how these activities improve learning is brief, and the claim about fear is repeated rather than developed with a specific example. The response is also below the required minimum: it contains 245 words, and the 9 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main reason further and add a relevant example to meet the task fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from the pressure to achieve academically to the benefits of play, and linking phrases such as “Moreover,” “For instance” and “Because of this reason” help show relationships. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “This will create an interest on studies to the children” does not clearly explain how the listed activities lead to greater interest, while the second body paragraph repeats the idea that strict academic focus creates fear. The conclusion is very brief and does not restate the main reasons. Make the links between claims and examples more explicit, and use each paragraph to develop a distinct point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “competitive world,” “all round development” and “activities,” and the examples make your meaning generally understandable. There is some attempt to use topic-specific language, but word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “concentrate mainly on formal learning,” “habituate them to the school” and “generate fear on children” are not natural in these contexts. Spelling errors, including “competetive,” “loose” and “cirriculum,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable range of collocations for education and child development, and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help you express your ideas without relying repeatedly on “concentrate” and “children.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If schools focus on formal learning…” and a reason clause beginning “Because of this reason.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement and articles are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to follow. For example, “I completely agree the statement” is missing a grammatical element, and “this result the children to loose their play time” has an unclear verb pattern. In “their most of play time is vanished,” the sentence structure is also faulty. Practise accurate verb patterns and article use, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb. Aim for reliable simple sentences before adding complex clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.