Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many poeple believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on traditional classroom learning. While academic education is essential, i believe that play is also important for children to develop social and development skills.

One of the main reason for academic education is that, it helps children learn how to read and write. It also build their foundation in subjects like mathematics and english, which can later help them in pursuing future education. Furthermore, basic academic skills makes them capable to be independent learners. It also helps them to keep puntuality in a classroom environment. For example, a child who can do simple calculations can easily count the bill in a store while shopping. Therefore, formal learning can help children build these skills to use it in everyday life.

On the other hand, playing is equally important because it helps children develop social skills. Children can learn about teamwork, sharing and communication, which can help them engage and interact with one another. Moreover, playing also allows them to be physically active and have a active mind. It also helps the children to know about the rules and regulations to maintain punctuality. For example, a child who plays knows how to cooperate while working in a group. As a result, it makes them more confident and socially active.

In conclusion, although formal education is essential for children's academic development, I believe that. playing is also equally essential for children to develop social skills and confidence. Therefore, both academic learning and playing are similarly important in primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear position: formal education matters, but play is equally important. Relevant points include literacy and numeracy for everyday independence, and teamwork and communication through play. However, the discussion of whether schools focus too much on formal learning is not fully developed; most of the first body paragraph explains the benefits of academic learning rather than showing when its emphasis becomes excessive or how classroom time should be balanced. Some support is also repetitive, such as mentioning punctuality in both paragraphs. Develop the comparison with a specific classroom example and explain how play can support learning, not only social development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for academic learning and play, and a conclusion that restates your view. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand,” “For example,” and “As a result” make the progression easy to follow. The organisation is coherent, though some connections feel mechanical, and ideas within paragraphs are not always developed in a clear sequence. For instance, punctuality appears in the academic-learning paragraph and then again in the play paragraph, where its connection to play is not explained. Use referencing more precisely and make each paragraph build one central point, linking the example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “academic education,” “teamwork,” “communication,” and “social skills,” and your meaning is generally clear. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly around “important,” “helps,” and “skills,” which limits precision. There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice or collocation errors, such as “poeple,” “puntuality,” “a active mind,” and “development skills.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy and naturalness. Build a wider set of expressions for balancing classroom activities and describing children’s development, and check spelling and common word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some more extended structures, including “While academic education is essential…” and clauses beginning with “which” and “because.” Most ideas remain understandable, but there are some errors in agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “One of the main reason … it helps,” “It also build,” and “a active mind”; the conclusion also has an unnecessary full stop after “I believe that.” These errors are noticeable, although they rarely obstruct the message. To improve, check subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, and practise combining ideas in accurate complex sentences rather than relying mainly on short, similarly structured statements.

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