Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education plays a vital role in shaping individuals and developing a prosperous society. It is believed that primary schools pay greater attention on formal learning as compared to non formal. I contend that this is not the reality because most of the primary institutions use numerous games to learn lessons by heart to younger childrens. From my perspective, it is very crucial for students to learn as well as play in classrooms at primary level. One of the primary reasons for this is that young students remain active during the class. This is largely due to when teacher use various kinds of activities in the class then students quickly learn their lessons and stay more fresh. For instance, in Pakistan, most of the schools spend their enough resoucres on different activities at primary level, so that children can acquire knowledge easily and remain motivated through out the day. Therefore, it is very important for the primary schools to organize various varieties of games in classrooms. Another significant factor is that pupils can feel attraction towards their schools. The reason is that every young children does not want to go school just because of the burden of studies. However, when primary schools will do decoration and also provide chances to play games in the class then students want to attend school daily. Consequently, it is also much important to create such a peaceful and charming environment in classrooms at primary level. In conclusion, primary schools should focus not only on formal learning but also provide chances to their students to play in the class. As a result, they learn fastly and also have wish to attend school regularly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you argue that play should accompany learning. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining that activities can keep pupils active and motivated, and that a more enjoyable classroom may encourage attendance. These are relevant reasons, and the Pakistan example gives one point some support. However, the discussion of whether schools actually overemphasise formal learning is brief, and the two benefits of play are asserted more than fully explained. For example, clarify how a particular game helps children understand or remember a lesson. More specific development and a fuller comparison of formal learning with play would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. The progression from keeping pupils active to making school more appealing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For instance,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This provides a coherent arrangement, though some linking is mechanical: “Therefore” and “Consequently” announce conclusions without always showing the precise connection between the preceding point and the claim. The second body paragraph also moves quickly from the burden of studies to classroom decoration and attendance. Develop each link more explicitly and use clearer references to avoid repeating “primary schools” and “students”; this would make cohesion more flexible and the progression more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “activities,” “acquire knowledge,” “motivated,” and “burden of studies.” There are also attempts at less common phrasing, such as “shaping individuals” and “prosperous society.” However, several word-choice and collocation problems make the expression noticeably unnatural: “pay greater attention on,” “feel attraction towards,” and “organize various varieties of games” are not idiomatic. Spelling and word forms also need attention, as in “resoucres,” “childrens,” and “fastly.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding elaborate wording; for example, say that schools “place greater emphasis on” formal learning and that pupils “are attracted to” school.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “This is largely due to…” and a contrast introduced by “However.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms recur. For example, “when teacher use various kinds of activities … then students” has problems with the article, agreement, and clause structure; “every young children does not want” has a mismatch between the determiner, noun, and verb; and “when primary schools will do decoration” uses an unsuitable tense pattern. There are also missing articles and prepositions in phrases such as “go school.” Practise building accurate conditional and time clauses, and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and singular/plural forms. Greater control of these patterns would make your varied sentences clearer.

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