Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

A handful people claim that elementary schools rely heavily on educating their young students formally. In my opinion, it is important to integrate playing along with learning in primary schools as it helps students to adapt to the new learning environment, in addition to creativity aquired during classes.

Education at young age is very challenging as students are newly introduced to a different community. Students start their elementary education learning about basic concepts of mutiple diciplines such as maths, literacy, and science. As a result, students find it hard to commit to school for just learning. Many schools provide funny activities in their classes encouraging students to love sudying.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a relevant position: “it is important to integrate playing along with learning,” and you offer a reason, namely that play can help children adapt to school and develop creativity. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. It does not clearly discuss whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of classroom play is asserted rather than explained with a developed example. The brief point about activities encouraging students to enjoy studying is relevant, but it needs further explanation and support. The response also falls short of the required 250 words, leaving both parts of the question substantially underdeveloped. To improve, state your view on formal learning directly, then explain and illustrate the benefits of balancing lessons with play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall shape: an opening paragraph gives your position, followed by a paragraph about the challenges children face when starting school. Linking phrases such as “As a result” and “in addition to” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is limited: the second paragraph moves from new students’ adjustment to school subjects and then to activities without fully explaining how these points support your argument. There is also no concluding paragraph to bring the position together. Develop a clearer sequence, with separate paragraphs for your view on formal learning, the benefits of play, and a conclusion. Use references such as “these activities” to make links between ideas explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “elementary education,” “basic concepts,” “disciplines,” and “learning environment.” These choices make the general subject clear, and “integrate playing along with learning” communicates your central idea. However, the range is limited, and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “A handful people” is not a natural expression, “funny activities” may suggest humorous rather than enjoyable activities, and “commit to school for just learning” is unclear. There are also spelling errors in “aquired,” “mutiple,” “diciplines,” and “sudying.” Build a more precise range around play-based learning and children’s development, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms. For example, “As a result, students find it hard to commit to school for just learning” uses a result link, while the opening sentence includes a reason introduced by “as.” Most of the intended meaning can be followed, but control is uneven. In “in addition to creativity aquired during classes,” the phrase does not form a complete, parallel continuation of the sentence; a clearer structure would be “and it can also foster creativity.” The sentence beginning “Education at young age” also needs an article before “young age.” Aim to make each sentence grammatically complete and check that added phrases connect clearly to the main clause. More accurate complex sentences would strengthen the response.

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