Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some people argue that primary schools focus too much on acadmic learning.I am largerly agree with this point of view and i will demostrate my opinion in this essay.

Firstly, people go to school for grades rather then personal development also primary schools less focus on sports and other social activity.Nowadays, childern spend so much time on social media and chase grade rather then understanding he concepts.However, i think with acadmic education children should spend time with personal interst or hobby.For instance, those who play game physically those are also briliant in acadmic lerning.Because with play you have high energy to do acadmic work and also those who have stress and depression with play it's very easy to over come that problem also.

Secondly, children play is also very helpful for decision making and team work, because that skills leads them to achive in future goal.Moreover, with some advantages there is also few drawback as well.Although, childern have responsbility to understande the peroblem and solve it.Such as, some children pay too much attention to the play rather then study that is completly wrong.For example, children don't mange the time between play and study and they face failer in both.As a result, that one thing leads to poverty in the nation.

In conclusion, play is the most important thing in primary schools also in the schools mange,ent should have responsbility to balance the sport with acadmic learning.However, play is not a west of time althose, it is the best time of learning new skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that play should accompany academic learning, and you address both the emphasis on formal study and the value of play. Relevant points include play supporting teamwork, decision-making and wellbeing, while your example of children struggling to balance play and study acknowledges a possible drawback. However, several claims are brief or unclear: the link between play and “poverty in the nation,” for example, is not explained, and the benefits could be supported with a more specific classroom example. The response is also 244 words, six words below the 250-word minimum; the 10 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop your reasons and examples more fully to make the position convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly group related ideas: first the balance between academic work and personal interests, then the benefits and drawbacks of play. This gives the essay some overall organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is not always clear. For instance, the move from social media to hobbies and then to stress is abrupt, while the claim about poverty appears without a clear link to the preceding point. Connect each example explicitly to the main idea it supports. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Moreover” and “As a result” help signal relationships, but some are used mechanically or inaccurately. Clearer topic sentences and more precise referencing would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “personal development,” “decision making,” “team work,” “responsibility” and “balance.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both learning and play, but the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the message difficult to understand. Examples include “acadmic,” “childern,” “briliant,” “mange” and “failer”; “chase grade” and “play physically” are also unnatural expressions. Aim to check spelling carefully and learn common collocations, such as “pursue good grades,” “take part in physical play” and “manage their time.” More precise vocabulary would help you express the ideas without relying on repeated general terms such as “play” and “thing.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, including “Although, children have responsibility…” and “those who play game physically…” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to interpret. For example, “I am largerly agree” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “children play is also very helpful” needs a possessive form. There are also problems with articles, plurals, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “primary schools less focus on sports and other social activity.” Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although” and “which.”

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