Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Primary schools are more curriculum focused rather than having a balance.
Personally, I agree with this statement that primary schools are hard on completing the syllabus with short period of time, giving kids extra homework and completely erasing the games and extra-curriculum activities from their learning.
As much as it is important for children to learn the basics I believe their schedule must include downtime with games, exercises and letting them have time to explore themselves and be creative rather than having a strict learning schedule where tehy only have to follow the rules and just become a bookworm for the school books.
Instead of making the curriculum hard for young kids it should leave the necessary space for them to just be themselves so they don't dread school and are not just syllabus driven because wiping the play time is going to be stressful for their mental as well as physical health.
If the children are overburdened with classwork as well as homework this also ends up affecting their social life which is very important for growing kids to develop enough confident to move forward in the world.
Being in a school that is more focused on getting the kids to adjust in world and learn basic life skills gave my 4 year the skills that most kids lack at that age, she has become more confident and has developed opinions of her own at this tender age whihc I owe to the school.
Having the freedom to play and get creative not only is beneficial for their mental well-being but it is very essential for their physical health as well, and getting time for interaction with their peers while playing games exposes them to easy and gradual social life which is a necessary part of their lives.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools can place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you explain why play matters for children’s wellbeing, creativity, physical health and social development. The personal example about your four-year-old’s school also gives the argument a relevant, concrete illustration. You address both parts of the prompt, but the discussion of how much formal learning is excessive is less developed than your case for play. For example, you mention homework and syllabus pressure without explaining what a more balanced classroom might look like or how play can support learning. To strengthen the response, develop that comparison and explain the educational value of play with a specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a generally understandable sequence: it states your view, gives reasons against an overly academic schedule, and adds a personal example before returning to the benefits of play. However, the ideas are presented in one continuous block, so the reader has little visual guidance through the argument. Several sentences also carry multiple points at once, particularly the sentence beginning “As much as it is important…” and the one about classwork affecting social life. Some links, such as “As much as” and “Instead of,” help connect ideas, but the progression between the personal example and the final point could be clearer. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and example, and make each paragraph’s main point explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “downtime,” “creative,” “mental well-being,” “physical health,” and “social life.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, and there is some attempt to use more specific language than basic terms alone. However, several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, such as “hard on completing the syllabus,” “extra-curriculum activities,” and “develop enough confident.” “Bookworm for the school books” is also unclear in this context. Spelling slips such as “tehy” and “whihc” further reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe schools as “under pressure to complete the syllabus” and activities as “extracurricular.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including complex clauses with “rather than,” “if,” and “which,” and your meaning is usually recoverable. However, some long sentences are not controlled well, and errors in sentence construction and agreement make parts less clear. For instance, “Personally, I agree with this statement that…” is awkwardly structured, while “develop enough confident” has an incorrect grammatical form. In “Having the freedom to play and get creative not only is beneficial…,” the placement of “not only” disrupts the sentence pattern. Break up sentences that contain several ideas, check subject–verb and noun forms, and practise parallel structures such as “not only benefits… but is also essential…”.
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