Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It it believed by certain people that primary schools emphasis more on formal learning.

In my opinion, the statement is true beacuse many primary schools centralize their focus to formal leaning. Primary schools must pay heed to include physical activities along with the academics.

Nowadays, primary schools have limited their attention to academic success only and have neglected the importance of play and sports. As soon as astudent joins the school, they push him towards academics learning and cramming. By this approach, the childrens brain cannot grow properly and such students lack self development. This ultimately leads to dumb and nerd students. For instance, many schools of Pakistan pushes the students towards cramming that is the reason students have limited knowledge and are far away from the other countries.

I believe that play and sports must be introduced to children at a young age as sports and games are as crucial for growth as academics for learning. There are numerous benefits of sports and games that cannot be neglected. They are crucial during a growing period as these not only make you physically fit but also imposes positive efects on mental health. Moreover, sports and games develop many healthy habits that helps one thoughout their life. These include perseverance, discipline, self-growth and time management. Furthermore, sports and games acts as a barrier for many health issues that vary from obesity and arthritis to high blood pressure and heart disease.

As far as myself is concerned, I belive that sports and games must be introduced to primary school students so that they can extract all the benefits at a young age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you argue that play and sport should be included alongside academics. You address both questions, explaining benefits such as physical fitness, mental health and the development of discipline and time management. The Pakistan example also attempts to support your criticism of cramming. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that academic pressure produces “dumb and nerd students” is unclear and would be stronger if you described specific effects on children’s learning or wellbeing. The second question is answered more fully than the first. Develop the reasons behind your view and use a more precise, relevant example to strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop the concerns about formal learning and the benefits of play, and the final paragraph restates your position. Ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” help connect supporting points. Some connections are less clear or feel mechanical, particularly the move from cramming in Pakistan to students being behind other countries. The final paragraph largely repeats the introduction rather than adding a concluding implication. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and vary how you refer to children, schools and play so that the progression feels more natural and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “academic success,” “perseverance,” “discipline,” and “time management,” which helps communicate your main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “pay heed” and “crucial for growth.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “centralize their focus,” “academics learning,” and “extract all the benefits.” Spelling errors such as “beacuse,” “efects,” and “belive” also reduce accuracy. Some expressions, notably “dumb and nerd students,” are imprecise and unsuitable for an academic essay. Aim for natural collocations and a consistently formal register, checking spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style purpose clause (“so that they can…”) and a sentence explaining the effects of sport on health. Most of your meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “many primary schools pushes” has subject–verb disagreement, while “these not only make you physically fit but also imposes” has inconsistent agreement and an unclear shift in pronouns. Other examples include “the childrens brain” and “sports and games acts.” Review plural forms, possessives, and agreement between subjects and verbs. Greater control of these patterns, alongside accurate punctuation and sentence boundaries, would make your varied structures more effective.

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