Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

"Knowledge is key to success"- This is a statement that was always told to children as they grew up. Primary school is the starting point of a child's life where they begin formal learning and education. The setting of a primary school is very different from that of a child's house. Children meet other children of their age, learn to socialize with them while also getting their formal education. Primary school includes children between the ages six to eleven. Children just entering this stage of life might experience nervousness, anxiety as well as excitement to a new beginning. However, entering primary school means the main focus is formal education for children .Thus, i would disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

This is because every class and activity is deviced according to the students well-being. Most primary schools have extracurriculum activities aside from proper education. Physical training, dance class, music class are all part of the hours spent in school. Alongside these activities students have different clubs like baseball club, cooking club and the list goes on. Being involved in these activities as well as members of the clubs one is interested in ,also helps balance with the pressure of formal education.

It is important that schools understand the importace of balancing formal education with these extracurricular activities as it helps student's mental and physical health.Nevertheless, exception can be made for children just entering primary school to have longer play time during their recess period oo small games being played in between classes to ease them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear position, stating that you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you address both formal education and the value of play or other activities. Examples such as physical training, dance, music and clubs are relevant and help explain how schools can offer a balance. However, the discussion of play itself is less fully developed: most examples are extracurricular activities, and the final suggestion about longer recess or games between classes is brief. Explain more directly how classroom play supports learning, perhaps through cooperation, creativity or problem-solving, and develop a specific example. This would make the response more fully supported across both parts of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has an overall progression from introducing primary school, to describing activities, and then to the importance of balance. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and linking expressions such as “This is because,” “Alongside these activities” and “Nevertheless” show how ideas relate. However, the first paragraph spends considerable space on children’s ages and feelings before reaching the position, and the final paragraph combines a general claim with a short exception that is not clearly connected to the preceding point. Some links are also mechanical, and the reference in “these activities” could be more precise. Organise the body around distinct points—benefits of varied activities and the role of classroom play—and use clearer transitions between them.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “formal education,” “extracurricular activities,” “well-being,” and “mental and physical health.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and the examples of clubs add useful specificity. There are also some inaccurate or awkward forms and collocations, such as “deviced according to the students well-being,” “extracurriculum activities,” and “balance with the pressure.” Spelling errors including “importace” and “oo” reduce accuracy, while “the list goes on” is rather informal for this essay. Aim for more precise academic phrasing and check spelling and word forms carefully; for example, describe activities as being “designed to support students’ well-being” and say they “help balance academic demands.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “However, entering primary school means…” and the clause beginning “as it helps…”. Most meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors are noticeable. For example, “Children between the ages six to eleven” needs a clearer age construction, and “It is important that schools understand…” is followed by a long sentence with a missing space after the full stop. The final sentence is also awkwardly constructed, making the relationship between longer play time and games unclear. Review articles, prepositions, sentence boundaries and punctuation, and make sure each sentence has a clear grammatical structure. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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