Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Education has the power to ungrade our society. Some people argue that primary schools focus more on formal learning. I agree that formal education is definitely important, whereas physical and mental health is crucial for learning things and personal development.

Most of the primary schools focuses on formal education especially the numericals and the linguals. However, it sets the basics for the children to pursue their secondary education, if the basics weren't strong children could not able to cope up with their further education. For creating a knowledgable society strong base in primary learning is significant. Therefore, extracurricular activities, play times are cut down from their curriculum.

From my perspective, even though great focus on formal learning is necessary, students should also be encouraged to play or to do some other activities. Playing outdoor games and mind games enhance their knowledge and their ability and it is crucial for their physical and mental wellbeing. Futhermore, the primary school is the best place to brought the children's talent out. It is a great time to identify their talents, so that improvements and proper guidance can be given in their future. In broad spectrum, it will end up in producing lots of athelets, scientists, dancers, singers, etc. It is essential to create a civilized and knowledgable society. For instances, I'm good at sing and I love sing so much, but my school and my parents failed to recognize my talent, so i couldn't able to develop my talent.

Although primary schools spend lots of time in educating formal subjects, it is important to encourage some practical and fun activities. Hence it is the stepping stone for children's future growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you recognise the value of formal education while arguing that play and other activities are also important. You address both questions, explaining that academic basics support later study and that play can benefit wellbeing and help reveal children’s talents. The personal example about singing gives your argument a relevant, individual illustration. This meets the task well, but the two sides are not developed equally: the claim that schools cut play time is asserted rather than supported, and the benefits of play are listed more than explained. To strengthen the response further, explain how classroom play can support learning and give a more specific example of how schools might balance it with formal lessons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on formal learning, a paragraph supporting play, and a brief conclusion. Ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “However,” “Furthermore,” and “Hence” help show relationships. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, though. For example, “Therefore, extracurricular activities, play times are cut down” does not fully explain how the preceding point leads to this outcome. The conclusion repeats the main position but adds little synthesis. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and make each paragraph develop one central point through a reason and an example. This would make the progression more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal education,” “personal development,” “physical and mental wellbeing,” and “proper guidance.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some phrases show an effort to be precise. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “ungrade our society,” “the numericals and the linguals,” and “brought the children's talent out.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “knowledgable,” “Futhermore,” and “athelets,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural, standard expressions rather than unusual wording: for example, refer to “numeracy and literacy” and say that schools can “identify and nurture children’s talents.” This would improve precision and fluency.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “even though great focus on formal learning is necessary” and a conditional idea about children’s future education. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Most of the primary schools focuses” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “children could not able to cope up” has an incorrect verb construction. There are also errors in infinitive and gerund patterns, as in “the best place to brought” and “I love sing,” and sentence boundaries and capitalisation are inconsistent. Review agreement, verb patterns, and sentence punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a complete and correctly formed structure.

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