Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Education plays an important role in our life. Many people debate about primary schools focusing too much on classroom based learning. In this essay, I will discuss why I strongly disagree with this statement.

To begin with, when school provide extracurricular activities students can learn new skill. I believe that in classroom we cannot improve our skill, but including extra activities will improve their skill like team work, leadership, time management and creativity. For instance, playing game like football kids can learn teamwork and time management. They can learn quickly how to work in a group as kids are fast learner. Therefore, extra activities is important at a young age.

On other hand, both has its own importance in the primary school. Playing games is important for physical health and also helps them socialize. However, classroom learning is also important as a learner. they can learn how to solve mathematics query and science formula. for example, I was in a primary school in my school it has horse ridding activities so that time i learn how to ride horse if that time this activities is not available in my primary school so how can i learn horse ridding. That's why is important in a primary school focusing in extra activities.

In conclusion, The primary school focusing on extra activities not only formal learning. they can both importance in students. I believe that other activities improved students skill and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear view that you disagree with the claim, and you recognise that both formal learning and play matter. The examples of football and horse riding are relevant, and you mention benefits such as teamwork, physical health and socialising. However, the response only partly answers the task: it does not explain clearly whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the discussion shifts toward extracurricular activities rather than play within the classroom. Several points, including the horse-riding example, are not fully connected to the question. The response is also 10 words below the required minimum. To strengthen your answer, address both questions directly, explain your position with developed reasons, and give an example of classroom play supporting learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its basic structure. You also use signposting such as “To begin with,” “On other hand” and “In conclusion.” However, progression between ideas is not always clear. The second body paragraph moves from the value of play to mathematics and science, then to a personal horse-riding example without explaining the links between them. Some connectors are used inaccurately or mechanically, and references such as “both” and “that time” are unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Clearer links between formal learning, classroom play and your examples would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “teamwork,” “leadership,” “time management,” “creativity” and “physical health.” These terms help communicate the benefits you associate with activities. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated or imprecise, such as “extra activities,” “skill” and “important.” Some word choices and forms also make the meaning less natural, for example “playing game” and “horse ridding.” Aim for more precise topic vocabulary and accurate collocations, such as “play-based learning,” “develop skills,” and “physical well-being.” Varying your wording and checking spelling and word forms would make your ideas clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a few longer structures, including “However, classroom learning is also important as a learner” and the conditional example about horse riding, alongside simpler sentences that are generally understandable. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation. Examples include “when school provide,” “extra activities is important,” and the sentence beginning “for example, I was in a primary school,” which becomes difficult to follow. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “they” after a full stop and “The” in the conclusion. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using controlled clauses. Check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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