Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people believe that primary schools focus more on formal learning. In my opinion I largely disagree with this statment.

To begin with , children are fast learners . When they play with other kids they can learn multiple skills which cannot be learned in classroom . For instance when they play games like football they can learn many new skills like how to be team player , how ro manage time , and also how to be creative . and those acitivites are already focused by schools to improve students skill .

On the other hand , study and paly both important to childrens life . when they can study they achived good results in school . when they paly new game in school they also learn fast . For example when i was in school we had both classroom learnnig and games time . swimming was on of the few paly time we had and i learn a lot of new skills from it .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear general position—“I largely disagree”—and address both formal learning and the value of play. The football example identifies teamwork, time management and creativity, while your memory of swimming offers relevant personal support. However, the response only partially develops the task: it does not explain in enough detail whether schools actually focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of balancing play with classroom study is asserted rather than explored. The examples are brief and the conclusion is missing, so your position and reasons are not fully developed. The response is also 83 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a specific example, then conclude by restating your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a basic paragraph structure, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “On the other hand” signal a change in focus. The ideas are generally relevant and a reader can follow the broad movement from play to the value of combining study and play. However, there is no clear overall progression: the second paragraph shifts from the claim about formal learning to a list of skills, while the final paragraph repeats that both activities matter without building a fuller argument. Some links are awkward or unclear, and the response ends without a concluding paragraph. Organise the essay around distinct points—for example, your view on formal learning, benefits of play, and the need for balance—and use linking phrases to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small set of relevant words and phrases, including “formal learning,” “team player,” “creative,” and “good results,” so the main ideas are usually understandable. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear or polished, such as “statment,” “acitivites,” “paly,” and “learnnig.” Some expressions are also imprecise: “learn multiple skills” and “new skills” are repeated without specifying what children gain. Aim to use accurate topic vocabulary and vary repeated wording; for instance, describe play as developing “social skills” or “cooperation,” and refer to “academic progress” rather than only “good results.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise collocations will make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a conditional structure in “When they play games like football they can learn…”. However, the range is limited, and attempts to connect ideas often contain frequent errors that can make the reader pause. Examples include missing or incorrect articles and plurals in “be team player” and “to childrens life,” subject–verb and verb-form problems in “they achived good results,” and sentence-boundary and punctuation issues where “and those activities” begins a new sentence after a full stop. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “when” after a paragraph break. Practise accurate sentence patterns, especially articles, verb forms and punctuation, before adding more complex structures.

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