Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some pepole believe that primary schools more focus too much formal learning. in my opinino, larglay disagree with this stastment. In this essay I will provide justification for the same .

However, this kids of focus of the time mangment , creative, team player, how to talk to pepole and other games.

To begin with children are fast learness.when they play with other kids they can multtiple skills which cannot be learned in classroom. For instance, when they play games like footboll , cricket they can learn many new skills ,like how to be a team player how to manage time , and also how to be creative and this activities are already focused by schools to imporve students skills.

on the other hand, there is a students focus study and palying both important in life. when we read story books ,and sometimes dissussion topics with frineds . students are study and play provide good achivement in this schools and classroom. For example, when I was in school we had both classroom learning and games time . swimming was one of the lew play time we had and I learnt a lot of new skills from it. I think they will do their best to improtent in classroom

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the focus on formal learning and the value of play, and your position is broadly that you disagree with the claim that schools focus too much on formal study. The examples of football, cricket and your experience of swimming are relevant. However, the response only partially develops the task: it does not clearly explain how much formal learning is appropriate, and several points are difficult to interpret, such as “this activities are already focused by schools.” The second question—how important play is alongside learning—is touched on but not answered in a clear, sustained way. The response is also 42 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and body paragraphs, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “on the other hand” signal a change in direction. The examples also give the reader some sense of the intended progression. However, the overall argument is difficult to follow because the paragraphs do not consistently develop one clear point, and some sentences appear disconnected—for example, “However, this kids of focus of the time mangment…” does not clearly connect to the preceding position. The contrast introduced by “on the other hand” is also unclear, since the paragraph mainly says that study and play are both important. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main idea, then connect each example explicitly to that idea. Check that linking phrases accurately describe the relationship between points.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “team player,” “manage time,” “creative,” and “skills,” and you use examples such as football, cricket and swimming to make the discussion concrete. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make parts of the response hard to understand, including “pepole,” “stastment,” “learness,” and “achivement.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “focus of the time mangment” and “improtent in classroom.” These issues fit a limited but minimally adequate range: the intended topic is usually recognisable, but the reader sometimes has to infer your meaning. Learn and check topic-specific phrases, and proofread spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, including “when they play with other kids they can…” and “when I was in school we had…”. This shows an effort to explain causes and give examples. However, the range remains limited, and frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Some pepole believe that primary schools more focus too much formal learning” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “there is a students focus study and palying both important in life” has problems with agreement and sentence formation. Capitalisation and full stops are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with “because,” “when” or “although,” checking that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.

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