Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools emphasis a lot on formal learning and do not give children enough oppartunilies to play. I largey agree with this view because, although academic education is important, play also plays a vital role in childern development.

To begin with, currently educatian system at primary school focus too much on formal learning, but it is difficult for children who is at six and ten years age. It is hard to them sit for a long-time and focus on one subject. Likewise, young children loss their interests, when their teacher takes books, copybooks and tests. For these reasons, they feel stressed of this formal and traditional learning.

On the other hand, playing games also helps to learn something new for young children. Role games help them as they can understand easily. when child plays as cashier are the will study how to count the numbers and study numeracy. similarly teachers can do team projects or games, which helps children to develop social skills. When, they play team games children will improve their team works. For example, they might learn how to be leader how to make planes and listen each other's opinions. As a result games help to develop and improve ther young children's skill.

In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary for academice development, primary schools should not for overlook the value of play. A children deveiop intellectually, so sociatlly, and emationally, preparing them for futureds success.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear position in the introduction, saying you largely agree, and the conclusion reinforces the need to balance academic learning with play. Both parts of the question are addressed: you explain why formal lessons can be difficult for young pupils and describe how games can support learning and social development. The cashier role-play and team-game examples are relevant. However, several points remain general or unclear, especially the claim that formal learning causes stress and the brief mention of leadership and listening. The response also falls 8 words short of the required 250-word minimum. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation or example, and ensure the response meets the stated length.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting aspects, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the main points, and transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” signal the direction of the argument. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “For these reasons” does not fully explain how the preceding classroom details lead to stress, while “As a result” introduces a broad claim without a precise reference. The sequence within the play paragraph also becomes difficult to follow around “how to be leader how to make planes.” Use clearer sentence boundaries and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic education,” “social skills,” and “team games.” These choices help communicate the central ideas, and the response includes attempts at topic-specific language such as “numeracy.” However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts of the message difficult to read: “opportunities” is misspelled, “children development” is not a natural phrase, and “team works” is unsuitable in this context. Some wording is also vague, such as “learn something new” and “develop and improve their skill.” Build a more precise vocabulary for classroom activities and child development, and check spelling and natural word combinations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession in “although academic education is important” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make meaning unclear. For example, “children who is at six and ten years age” has problems with agreement and sentence construction, while “when child plays as cashier are the will study” is difficult to interpret because the clause structure breaks down. There are also incomplete or poorly punctuated sentences, such as “Similarly teachers…” following a full stop after “when.” Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them, checking subjects, verbs, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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