Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Today, people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning rather than sports, playground, and some primary program. In my opinion, some schools has only focus on formal learning they are not provided any games, either playful games, and sports. Now many people or parents are arguing that we have to provide some sport that primary student has also get a knowledge in sport and their mind is become cheerful and enjoyable moment that they all are doing entertaintment. However, some schools has teaching education related and that primary student not learning the outside of knowledge if if students only focus on formal learning than it is really terrible impact on their life and all schools has to provide other things in school. For example, Football, Badminton, Vallyboll, Basket ball, Cricket, Dancing, and Music. Therefore, in primary school that much of pressure is not good for student because they are not in middle schools so, should they can learn from textbooks they are in primary schools. I agree with the statement, i think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom if all schools are trying to focus on play learning it is probably best for their children and they get an oppertunity to learn playful things. On the other hand, why all schools are focusing only learning book is important outside of knowledges is also important things that we all have to focus outside knowledge and skills. Last but not least, i hope all schools have to take a better decision to provide all playing things and knowledges that student can also learn from outside skills that is give them strenghth and motivate with this sports learning and they achieve their goal and make a best future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you argue that schools should offer activities beyond formal lessons, and you state that play is important alongside learning. Examples such as football, badminton, dancing and music make your position relevant to primary education. However, the response only partially develops the argument. The benefits of play are asserted—for example, that children become “cheerful” and gain skills—but are not explained with a specific example or clear reasoning. Your view is also difficult to follow in places, particularly where you discuss “outside knowledge” without defining what this means. To strengthen the response, explain how play supports learning or wellbeing and develop one or two examples in detail. The response meets the required length; 27 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable overall position, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “Therefore,” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the introduction, supporting points and conclusion. Ideas also move abruptly between formal learning, sports, pressure, and “outside knowledge,” while several sentences combine multiple points without clear progression. Some links are repetitive or do not show a clear contrast, as with “On the other hand.” Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main idea. Clearer references and more precise links between sentences would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “sports,” “playful,” “skills” and “motivate,” and the list of activities gives the response some specificity. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are unnatural, which sometimes makes your meaning difficult to understand. For example, “some primary program,” “outside of knowledge,” and “play learning” do not express your ideas clearly in English. There are also spelling errors such as “entertaintment,” “Vallyboll,” “oppertunity” and “strenghth.” Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing education and child development, and check spelling carefully. Prefer natural expressions such as “extracurricular activities” and “learning through play.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, including “if students only focus on formal learning…” and “I think it is for children to play as well as learn…”. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty, so the reader has to work to identify the intended meaning. Examples include “some schools has only focus,” “they are not provided any games,” and “their mind is become cheerful,” which show problems with subject–verb agreement, verb forms and sentence construction. The sentence beginning “Therefore” also contains an unclear structure and punctuation. Practise forming accurate present-tense statements and conditional sentences, and divide long sentences into shorter, complete units. This will help your ideas come across more reliably.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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