Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Having a hobby plays vital role in the person life because it helps person to keep their mind relax while performing their favourite activity in spare time. It is really cruical to have at least one hobby for every age group people whether they working or not and inculding children. I am agree with this statment and I will discuss my own opinion in the upcoming paragraphs with relevant example.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You clearly state your position: “I am agree with this statement,” and you identify a relevant reason, that hobbies help people relax. However, the response stops after an introduction, so it does not explain this reason, give examples, or develop your opinion across the essay. The task asks you to discuss whether people of different ages should have a hobby, but you do not address those age groups beyond briefly mentioning them. The response is also substantially below the required minimum length, which leaves the task only minimally addressed. To improve, develop at least two reasons, explain how they apply to different groups, and support them with specific examples before writing a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sense of direction: it introduces the topic, states your opinion, and signals that you intend to discuss it. The opening moves from the general value of hobbies to your agreement, so the reader can follow the main point. However, there is no developed paragraph structure or progression beyond this introduction, and the promised discussion and examples do not follow. The phrase “in the upcoming paragraphs” signals an intended structure but cannot replace the supporting paragraphs themselves. To strengthen organisation, use separate paragraphs for your main reasons, connect each explanation to a relevant example, and finish with a brief conclusion. Use linking expressions to show relationships between ideas rather than relying only on a sequence of statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “hobby,” “favourite activity,” “spare time,” and “age group,” so the subject is clear. There is also an attempt at more formal phrasing in “plays vital role.” However, the short response offers little range or flexibility, and several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy: “cruical,” “statment,” and “inclulding” (written as “includling” in the response) should be checked carefully. Phrases such as “every age group people” and “keep their mind relax” are not natural English collocations. Build a small set of accurate expressions for discussing benefits, such as “reduce stress” and “develop personal interests,” and proofread spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a complex opening sentence with “because” and a longer sentence using “whether,” showing some effort to vary sentence structure. The main message remains understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent. For example, “Having a hobby plays vital role” needs an article, while “in the person life” and “helps person” have problems with possessives and articles. “I am agree” uses an incorrect verb form, and “whether they working or not” is missing an auxiliary verb. The response also relies on a long opening sentence that would be clearer if divided or punctuated carefully. Practise accurate article use, subject–verb patterns, and forms such as “I agree” and “whether they are working or not” before attempting longer sentences.

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