Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this world ,when everyone is so busy in there day to day life.They are strugling with time to acheive their goals and for the daily life resources,It makes very important to have at least one hobby for everyone to make your life little bit better.I support this statement,will justify my answers furthure .

Due to daily hectic life schedule ,Most proportion of the world population is in depression right now according to the studies.To overcome this problem people have to think differently and have to give sometime to there health as well ! As far as i know even in my home town 30 % of young adults are taking pills for sleep.Its a basic necasity to have ,something interesting in your life eventhough it might be your hobby or something else.

Additionally ,I personally goes to gym everyday its my hobby ,I love to do gym in this way i can stay healthy and at least i have my hobby to do relieve my stress .Children can find passion in their hobby and may choose this as a carreir .Young Adults can stay active and focused by choosing it ,Working people can find some time to relax after their job and in the last retired people can spent their plenty of time enjoy their hobby ,that's why i think its important for all.

Moreover,I have some experiences ,wher i found that a person hobby can change his or her life.One of my freind was mentally disturb eventhough he love to do art .I gifted hime sketch books and paint brush ,After few days I found that he was more happier then earlier and started going to job whic he left due to no reason .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: you support the view that everyone should have a hobby, and you address children, young adults, workers and retired people. The gym example and the story about your friend give the response relevant personal support. You also explain possible benefits such as stress relief, health and finding a career interest. However, some points are asserted rather than explained: the claim about depression and sleeping pills is not clearly connected to how hobbies help, and the benefits for each age group are listed briefly. To strengthen the response, develop fewer points in more detail and explain the link between each example and your opinion. The response already shows a clear stance and relevant support, but fuller development would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable progression: an introduction states your opinion, followed by general benefits, your own hobby, and a personal example. Paragraphing helps separate these ideas, and connectors such as “Additionally” and “Moreover” signal new points. At times, however, the links feel mechanical, and the sequence within paragraphs is not always smooth. For example, the discussion moves from depression to a local statistic and then to the broad claim that an interesting activity is necessary, without fully explaining the connection. The long paragraph listing benefits for four age groups also combines several ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports; vary transitions rather than relying mainly on additive ones.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “hobby,” “relieve my stress,” “stay healthy,” “focused,” and “passion.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and you attempt to express more specific concepts such as depression and mental wellbeing. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “strugling,” “acheive,” “necasity,” and “mentally disturb.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “daily life resources” and “Most proportion of the world population.” Aim to learn accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions for benefits and age groups would help you communicate ideas more fluently and avoid repeating general words such as “important” and “hobby.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses with “when,” “because”-type reasoning, and examples introduced with “even though.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, many sentences contain errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation, which sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “I personally goes to gym everyday its my hobby” combines an incorrect verb form with a run-on sentence, while “retired people can spent” uses the wrong verb form. Several opening sentences are also fragments or joined without appropriate punctuation. Practise building accurate complex sentences, checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and separating complete sentences with full stops. Greater control would make your ideas easier to follow.

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