Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is crucial for everyone in this world to have a minimum one hobby' including youngsters, adolescents and the old ones alike. While some argue, devloping a hobby is not necessary, I strongly believe that people should enjoy their leisure time in what makes them happy.In this essay, I will explain why I support this perspective.

The primary reason for my opinion is, fruitful use of the time. Those who enjoy their free time in persuit, for example, coin collection, gardening, article writing etc, are far more happier, healthier and satisfied than those who just lie down, sleep or use social media during their leisure time. This shows that those who spend time on their hobbies after a hectic day' in case of a working community to doing nothing' in case of old people, tend to be far happier and satisfied with their lives. Satisfaction in the life of those who do not feel like indulging themselves in activities, is always overweighed by those who enjoy following their hobbies keeping themselves busy.

Another key reason is to keep individuals away from irrelevant thoughts, for example, a heart-broken person will be always developing suicidal thoughts or thinking that he/she is unwanted and unworthy for this world. This feeling can only be overcomed by developing one's habbit to find peace in what they are doing, for example, these kind of people can make themselves busy in NGO's, teaching children in underserved areas, or helping poor. This could never be possible without keeping one busy in what they are doing without having enough time for negative thoughts.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that every indiviadual in this world, irrespective of age' should engage themselves in healthy activities, in order to enjoy their lives and staying away from harmful thoughts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I strongly believe” people should use leisure time for activities they enjoy—and the conclusion reinforces it. You give two relevant reasons: hobbies can make leisure more satisfying, and purposeful activities may help people manage negative thoughts. The examples of gardening, coin collecting and volunteering also support the discussion. This meets the task well, but the development is uneven: the first reason repeats the idea of being “far happier and satisfied” without explaining in detail how different age groups benefit, while the second makes a strong claim about suicidal thoughts that would benefit from more careful qualification and support. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits for children, working adults and retired people more specifically, and develop each example rather than relying on broad claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “The primary reason,” “Another key reason” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some sentences are difficult to track because several ideas are packed together. For example, the sentence beginning “This shows that those who spend time on their hobbies” includes contrasting situations for working and retired people but does not connect them smoothly. The repeated references to being “happier and satisfied” also limit progression. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and make pronoun references explicit—for instance, specify who “these kind of people” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “leisure time,” “coin collection,” “indulging themselves in activities” and “negative thoughts,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “fruitful use of the time.” However, noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation problems reduce precision: “devloping,” “persuit,” “habbit,” “overcomed” and “indiv adual” (written as “indiv iadual” in the response) are inaccurate, while “enjoy their free time in pursuit” and “far more happier” are not natural expressions. Some wording is also vague, such as “the old ones” and “irrelevant thoughts.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and choosing conventional collocations; prefer precise terms such as “older adults” and “distressing thoughts.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a contrast clause beginning “While some argue” and a conditional example about a heart-broken person. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. For example, “a minimum one hobby” needs a determiner or a different construction, and “far more happier” incorrectly combines two comparative forms. In “those who enjoy their free time … are far more happier,” the sentence also becomes difficult to manage as examples and contrasts are added. The final phrase “in order to enjoy their lives and staying away” does not maintain a parallel grammatical form. Review articles, comparative forms, parallel structures and sentence boundaries, and simplify long sentences where needed to improve control.

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