Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Over the years, the trend of having a engaging hobby is highly supported by people by claiming that, apart from pursuing any educational degree it is indeed important to have spare-time activity helps in reducing stress levels as well as can be become alternative source of income. In my experience, I believe that it is essential for each age group of people to have some sort of activity in their lifetime.
First and foremost, the extracurricular activity has its own benefits. Firstly, one of the scientific reasons why doctors advice new born parents to enroll their children in swimming classes at their early age. As a result, the swimming exercise engages a moment of not only hand but also core and legs. And this sport helps their muscles to develop in their early age. Secondly, many companies around the globe often organize extra activities for their employees to support to overcome stress level.
Another striking point to consider for the people who are retired or in their older age. It is often seen in our day to day life that, once people get retired or get older gets more bored at sitting home than other aged group. This act is often causes serious health problems in their life. Therefore, having a sort of hobbies can be beneficial. For example, indoor games such as, chess or puzzle helps their thoughts to process which eventually helps their blood to flow in the body.
All in all, education is a necessity to secure better future but allocating spare time to generate interest to learn new activity can be useful in later life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of hobbies across different age groups. You have provided relevant examples, such as swimming for children and indoor games for the elderly. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The section on working people is quite brief, and the connection between hobbies and 'blood flow' for the elderly is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph fully explores the 'why' behind your arguments with more depth and nuance. The position is clear throughout, but the overall structure could benefit from a more balanced treatment of the different age groups mentioned in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on a specific group or benefit. You use transition signals like 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'All in all' to guide the reader. However, some cohesive devices are used mechanically or incorrectly, such as the sentence fragment 'Another striking point to consider for the people who are retired...' which lacks a main verb. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring every sentence is grammatically complete will help improve the flow and logical progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extracurricular activity', 'stress levels', and 'alternative source of income'. There are some instances of awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'new born parents' (which should be 'parents of newborns') and 'gets more bored at sitting home'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise collocation and idiomatic usage. To improve, focus on learning word families and common collocations rather than just individual words, which will help you express your ideas with greater naturalness and precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'a engaging hobby' (should be 'an engaging'), 'doctors advice' (should be 'advise'), and 'this act is often causes' (should be 'this often causes'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments. While you attempt complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with articles, verb forms, and sentence construction, will significantly improve your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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