Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Over the years, the trend of having an engaging is highly supported by people by claiming that, apart from pursuing any educational degree it is indeed important to have spare-time activity helps in reducing stress levels as well as can be become alternative source of income. In my experience, I believe that it is essential for each age group of people to have some sort of activity in their lifetime.
First and foremost, the extracurricular activity has its own benefits. Firstly, one of the scientific reasons why doctors advise parents to newborns to enroll their children in swimming classes at an early age. As a result, the swimming exercise engages a moment of not only hand but also core and legs. And this sport helps their muscles to develop in their early age. Secondly, many companies around the globe often organize extra activities for their employees to help them overcome the stress level.
On the other side, taking in consider for the people who are retired or in their older age. It is often seen in our day to day life that, once people get retired or get older they gets more bored at sitting home than other aged group. This often causes serious health problems in their life. Therefore, having a sort of hobbies can be beneficial. For example, indoor games such as, chess or puzzle helps their thoughts to process which eventually help their blood to flow in the body.
All in all, education is a necessity to secure a better future but allocating spare time to generate interest to learn new activity can be useful in later life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of hobbies for different age groups. You have provided relevant examples, such as swimming for children and indoor games for the elderly. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits for children and the elderly are touched upon, the discussion regarding working people is quite brief and lacks depth. To improve, ensure that each group mentioned in the prompt receives a balanced level of analysis. The position is clear throughout, but the introduction is slightly confusing due to grammatical errors, which makes the initial statement of your opinion less impactful.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'All in all' to structure the text. However, the transition between ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the opening sentence where 'the trend of having an engaging' is incomplete. The flow within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences more fluidly. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the use of cohesive devices needs to be more sophisticated to reach a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extracurricular activity', 'stress levels', and 'alternative source of income'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'having an engaging' (which is missing a noun) and 'taking in consider for the people'. These errors occasionally make the text feel unnatural. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form. Expanding your range to include more precise, topic-specific vocabulary would also help elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('they gets more bored') and missing articles or prepositions ('advise parents to newborns'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately without missing functional words.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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