Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
A growing number of individuals are attracting towards the fashionable clothes because of society and following the social media influences. Although it could be a great choice for young people, I believe that it is largely negative development in some manner.
The major reason for the following of fashion trend is that people feel pressure to become the center of beauty and looks more attractive than others. In addition, numerous social media applications such as Instagram , Snapchat and Facebook are utilized by adults. As Increasing usage of these sites makes them fascinated towards the branded or western clothes which are not affordable and accessible by some parents. Moreover, people want to rise their standard by wearing some fashionable clothes and availability of more online shopping sites make them easy for purchasing.
However, fashionable clothes has some destructive effect and the predominate is that it increases the expenditure. While some people can not afford that much expenses, they try to imitate the fashion sense of celebrities. Furthermore, young people can forget their cultural values by following more westernization and they can feel stress if they lack behind their peers. For example, famous personalities promote some western brand clothes such as Gucci, Zara and others through some social applications which are directly put impacts on folks.
In conclusion, people are following fashionable clothes to enhance their looks and standard in society But its negative effect can increase the more pressure on people's expenses.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is off-topic. The prompt asks for an opinion on the importance of having a hobby for various age groups, but the essay discusses the influence of social media and fashion trends. Because the response does not address the task prompt at all, it fails to meet the basic requirements. Furthermore, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which necessitates a penalty. The position is clear, but it is irrelevant to the question asked. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your arguments directly answer the specific question provided rather than writing a pre-prepared essay on a different topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the overall coherence suffers. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'However', but they are sometimes used mechanically or to connect ideas that do not support a central argument related to the task. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of a relevant central theme makes the progression of ideas confusing. To improve, focus on ensuring that every sentence contributes to answering the specific question asked in the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'attracting towards' instead of 'attracted to', 'fascinated towards' instead of 'fascinated by', and 'rise their standard' instead of 'raise their standard'. The range is sufficient to express basic ideas, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. The use of terms like 'predominate' is grammatically incorrect in this context. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise vocabulary to convey your meaning accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'fashionable clothes has' (subject-verb agreement), 'looks more attractive' (should be 'look'), 'make them easy for purchasing' (awkward phrasing), and 'lack behind' (should be 'lag behind'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters after commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent sentence structure.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.