Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.
What's your opinion about this?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
undoubtedly, hobbies are part of everyone life. so i think everyone required at least one hobbies even more than one. however, its must for all aged people to have one hobby to kill the time. i thinks its true. so i would shed some reasons and give my opinion about this.
In order to physical as well as mentally fit every age group must have a one hobby in their life. In todays world life become every hectic due to work expect children. for example, young adults are stress about their studies, working people also stressed about their work and retired ones also stressed about their health. so, if they all have at least one hobby their mind does not diverted to other things like drugs and alcohol. however , children does not have work or others thing to do so for their good productivity and good physical strength also mentally strong, hobbies are more important.
Additionally, in order to kill the time, hobbies are one of the main things everyone life. for example, i talked about one hobby which every one like that is dancing. in every age, from children to old people. its not only helps people to become more productive but also brings happiness to spend time with their loving ones. On the other hand, particular working people, they spend a lot of time on their work so they are not able do their favourites things, even they works at late nights perhaps they also not to have proper sleep. so for them, its very difficult to them.
to sum up, all ages group people must have hobby in their life for mentally and physically strong as well as spending time with their loved ones. so for my point of view, everyone need to have at least one hobby .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear opinion that hobbies are essential for all age groups. You provide reasons such as stress relief, productivity, and social connection. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument about 'killing time' is a bit simplistic, and the explanation regarding children's productivity could be more nuanced. While you cover all parts of the task, the supporting examples, such as the mention of dancing, are quite brief. To improve, focus on expanding your arguments with more specific, logical explanations rather than repeating the same points about stress and time-management across different paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'Additionally', 'On the other hand', and 'to sum up' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the progression of ideas feels disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of stress and the mention of dancing is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'its not only helps people' where the subject is ambiguous. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your main points. You use some relevant topic-specific words like 'productivity', 'hectic', and 'mentally strong'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'everyone life' instead of 'everyone's life' and 'its must' instead of 'it is a must'. Some phrases are also slightly unnatural, such as 'shed some reasons'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise vocabulary and ensuring that your word forms and collocations are accurate. Expanding your range of synonyms would also help avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('children does not have', 'everyone required'), missing articles ('have a one hobby'), and incorrect verb forms ('they works'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing commas and incorrect capitalization. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and affect the overall fluency of the writing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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