Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for children, young adults, working people and the retired to have at least one hobby.

What's your opinion about this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is vital for kids, teenagers, employees and retired employees to have at least one hobby. The kids and young generation should have hobbies to keep themselves busy. The working employees and retired persons must have a hobby at least for fitness. In my opinion having a hobby will increase knowledge.

In todays world, the kids and youngster should have hobbies which will keep themselves busy as well as free from distraction. Many of them interested in reading books, sports, painting etc., which is beneficial for their health and mind. Most of them start in the early morning which will boost the energy for the whole day. For instance, during my student period, I participated in street sports with friends, early morning running competitions in the ground, and evening time group study with friends. Which makes me whole day active and no health issues.

The working employees and retired people at least they should have jogging or running hobby. Because these people are less active in sports and other activities due to work and family responsibilities and retired persons are ideal in the house, busy with house works. At least half hour a day the body fatigue sport will helpful in body fitness and increase in social networks For example, I have noticed in Victoria Park that, many of the working people and retired people were engaged in playing different sports, group exercise, running & walking.

I believe that, having any hobby will keep you update as well as active. The kids and teen generation busy in hobby is a motivation to other children. Whereas the working employee and retired generation needs a normal fitness and healthy body which can be done through only a daily routine hobby.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, covering the importance of hobbies for children, working adults, and the retired. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like 'street sports' and 'Victoria Park', the explanation of why hobbies are 'vital' or 'important' remains a bit superficial. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the psychological or long-term benefits of hobbies rather than focusing primarily on physical fitness. The ideas are relevant, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a band 6 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on a specific group mentioned in the prompt. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. For example, the frequent use of 'The kids and young generation' and 'The working employees' at the start of sentences makes the flow feel slightly stilted. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented, such as 'Which makes me whole day active', which disrupts the logical flow between ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring sentences are complete would enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'busy', 'healthy', and 'fitness' repeatedly. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'retired persons are ideal in the house' (likely meaning 'idle') and 'body fatigue sport' (which is not a standard collocation). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated or less common lexical items limits the score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to lifestyle, well-being, and personal development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Many of them interested in reading'), missing articles ('in the early morning'), and sentence fragments ('Which makes me whole day active'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While you attempt complex structures, the control over these is not consistent. Focusing on basic sentence accuracy and proofreading for common errors like missing verbs or incorrect prepositions would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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